Life, Death And Change
by Wysteria Starfyre
Summary: Based on "Lucy" by xOxLxIxVxEx When Lucy dies on a mission Natsu is changed forever. The team must pull together to pull him thru it. After a year, Natsu finds that maybe he can change one wrong choice to save Lucy, but at what cost? Lot of pairings R&R Edited & Updated Again March 10, 2014
1. In That One Moment

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Character Death, (insert sobbing and crying here) Violence, and disturbing death scene. This is a short chapter, Rating is um T-M for the entire story. This Chapter is probably a solid T. PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) This is my first ever Fan fiction of any kind _ever_. Please be honest but don't be hateful or petty. Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 1

In That One Moment

Natsu grinned, that half crazed look in his eyes once more as he faced the mastermind they had come to stop. He was gonna enjoy beating this guy for kidnapping Lucy. He had planned to sacrifice her for her powers as a Stellar Spirit mage as part of some bizarre, ancient ritual to gain immortality. Natsu had managed to free Lucy. She was still fighting the second in command, while Gray and Erza were busy with the dozens of followers outside the temple.

They had given Natsu the opening to go save Lucy. Now that she had her keys, and her whip, his girlfriend could take out one man. They had been dating for almost seven months now, even though they had been together as Nakama for almost five years. The master mountain mage was powerful, and Natsu was needing to use more of his magic than he had expected.

'Damn! No wonder this was an S class mission, but that fifty million jewels, and an all expenses paid cruise is soo gonna be worth it! Lucy in a bikini all day for a week!' Natsu shivered at the thought.

"You can't stop me! I've won! I've won, and you have no idea that it's already too late! MWAHA ha ha ha ha!" The master mountain mage shouted at Natsu from across the massive room.

"What nonsense are you dreaming?! Just 'cause you finished your stupid chant ain't gonna save you from my fire! Besides, you forgot the sacrifice, you stupid, old fart!" Natsu shot back with a laugh.

"There's still time, you fool! There's still time! So long as the sacrifice is in the temple, I have all the time I need! Soon! Soon, you shall tremble before me, you who is nothing but a mere mortal! I shall possess the immortality of the Stellar Spirits!" the old man crowed triumphantly.

He was trying to buy more time. He couldn't take much more from this fire flinging, half crazed, childish upstart. Fairy Tail had sent the one team he had needed them to, but he had not accounted for the dragon slayer actually still having so much power left when he reached the ceremonial rooms.

"Phht! Like I'd let you kill my girlfriend just so your ugly, old wrinkles could creep along the Earth forever!" Natsu laughed, trying to blow off the disturbing idea that Lucy wasn't safe, even though Natsu was right there.

He turned, and looked at her. Yep, still wiping the floor with that apprentice looser, just as Natsu expected. She flashed him a smile, and returned to her fight. Natsu turned back to his opponent. It bothered him a little, but he shrugged it off. He had never let Lucy die before, and he wasn't gonna start now. He launched into the attack again. A few fierce moments later, the mountain mage was down for the count. Natsu grinned, proud of himself again, but the smug look melted off his face as an ear piercing shriek of pain rang out.

"Lucy!" Natsu was running.

He raced towards the hall that connected the twin ceremonial rooms. As he turned the corner his heart dropped. Lucy was on the floor, the mage's apprentice standing over her with a bloodied knife, somehow shimmering in, and out of view like he could become invisible.

Natsu roared, suddenly filled with more hatred than he'd ever felt before, as he flew into the guy. He was spent. He needed fire to eat, but there was nothing around. It took him several minutes to beat the other mage down without using his fire.

When Natsu turned to Lucy, Loke was kneeling at her side, crying, almost sobbing. Natsu moved to where she lay on the floor. The blood pool still growing.

"What the HELL! What, what happened?! Where were you, Loke?!" Natsu accused as he rushed to Lucy, lifting her off the floor. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow. She was so cold! Tears flooded Natsu's eyes.

"She didn't call me! I-I-I didn't...I had...No warning! I didn't know! I heard... her scream, I heard you...call her! That's...why...I came! And she was...was like THIS!" Loke sobbed, disbelief and despair thickening his voice. He was shaking his head as he stroked Lucy's long, golden hair. He had failed her.

Loke fell into utter shock, starring blankly at his beloved Lucy. He couldn't accept this. She wasn't dying. She just needed some sleep. It wasn't her blood that he was sitting in, it was someone else's. Lucy was fine. If she was ever in real trouble he would know, he'd feel it. Just like he always had. She was fine. This was just her, and Natsu playing a really not funny, and very sick joke on him. Loke just had to watch her long enough and she'd sit up, and laugh, and tell him it was a joke. Just payback for all those times he'd told her something, or did something that he couldn't take back, and said he was joking. The Lion Spirit continued on with his mental break down in silence.

"Luce? Lucy?" Natsu called her gently. He started to cry, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lucy. Lucy, please, I'm sorry."

Lucy's eyes fluttered open as Natsu's hot tears fell on her face. She smiled.

'He's okay. He's safe. Everything will be okay now,' she thought through the searing pain in her back. She couldn't talk, her voice wouldn't come. It was so hard to breathe.

"Lucy, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I-I-I thought...I mean I gave you your keys. You had your whip. I untied you. I'm sorry! Please Lucy! I'll warm you up! We can go home now. I won't make you come on another mission that you don't want to do, Lucy, I promise! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Natsu sobbed.

She was so pale, so cold. There was so much blood! He couldn't think of how to stop all that blood. He didn't know how to make it okay again. Even though she was smiling, he could see the pain.

"Lucy? You'll be okay, right? We're gonna have a lot of fun on that cruise together. Just tell me what to do, Luce. I'll do it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please Lucy, I'm sorry," Natsu cried as he watched her glittering eyes slowly fade. She sighed with a deep shiver, then she was suddenly limp. The few tears that had streaked her face beginning to dry as Natsu waited for her to reply. She never did, and never would.

"Lucy. Lucy? LUCY!" Natsu shook her, desperate to get her to answer him, to blink, to make that empty stare go away. He tried to call even a hint of his fire to warm her, but he had nothing left. She wasn't breathing any more. He buried his head in her shoulder as he was racked with bone jarring sobs. Natsu jumped violently as the most horrified scream he'd ever heard shattered the very air around them. He glared up at Loke, then suddenly began shaking his head 'no' as understanding settled on him.

Loke's hands were twisted in his ginger hair as he stared at the ceiling with the most agonized look on his face. He couldn't feel her. He couldn't feel his princess, his Lucy. The bond was gone. How? Why? Why hadn't he known that she needed him? Why hadn't he felt that she was in danger? Why hadn't he felt the warning like he had every other time? Loke threw himself onto the floor face first sobbing like a man that just had everything within him shatter.

To Loke, that's exactly what was happening. Lucy was his princess. She was everything to him. His very reason for living, and Loke had _failed_ to protect her. He had sworn to give his life for her, yet here he was, alive, and well, while she was not. He hadn't even fought to protect her. He had failed, utterly, completely. It was unacceptable, inexcusable, unforgivable. There was nothing he could do now beyond live with that ultimate failure until he simply faded away.

"Wha-What the hell is going on?!" Natsu shouted as he reached for Lucy's keyring that was still hanging from her hip. The keys had begun to glow brightly. Suddenly, one by one they began to vanish, until the only one that remained was Leo, The Lion.

"The bond is gone. The contract is broken. The keys relocate to be found by new mages," Loke whispered without looking. His voice was empty, as though he was responding without being aware of either the question, or of his answer.

"What the hell are you saying?! Lucy can't loose her keys! She needs them! How will she fight without them?!" Natsu was screaming at the Lion Spirit.

"She's, she's," Loke couldn't say it.

"No. NO! Lucy's just sleeping! She's just resting, she's fine!" Natsu argued, shaking his head, and rocking back, and forth with her still held tightly in his arms.

Loke didn't respond. He didn't want to believe it either. He didn't have the heart to make Natsu accept it. Neither of them moved until Gray, Happy, and Erza arrived nearly two, and a half hours later.


	2. After The Fall

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Violence, suggestive themes, possibly some strong language. Rating probably T. As always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 2

After The Fall

After a month and a half...

Loke sat at the same dark corner table that he was always in. No fan girls, or anyone else for that matter, came near him. He spent every sunrise, and sunset at her grave, every day, rain, shine, or snow. The rest of the day, he did the same thing that he had been doing since the day Lucy died, which was getting as drunk as he could, and drawing every memory he had of her. He had a lot of memories of her. He was always watching her. More than a few times, when he shouldn't have been.

He didn't notice if being in her world hurt or not, mostly because nothing compared to the pain of her loss. He didn't care either way. He refused to go back. He knew that once he left he couldn't return until his key was found again. That would take a long time to happen, and he would want some very good answers to how the person got his key, seeing as it had been buried with Lucy. To tell the truth he wasn't sure that he wanted to come back _ever_ again, but first he would have to leave.

Mirajane quietly picked up the empty mug, and replaced it with a fresh one. She sighed heavily.

"Ne, Loke?" she called gently.

"Hmm?" Loke looked up at her for the first time in over two weeks, "Yeah, Mira? Something wrong?"

Mira's chin trembled slightly as she forced a smile. She swallowed hard against the lump that had risen in her throat, "I was just wondering...if ...this is...really how you think... that...Lucy-sama would want you to honor her? She...really loved all of us. She, she would want us to be happy, and smile for her. She was always smiling," Mira choked finally, but she kept smiling even as the tears began to fall.

You couldn't speak Lucy's name in Loke's earshot without adding the honorific of sama. Failure to grant that respect would result in the full fury of The Lion. Neither Gajeel, nor Bixlow would dare to make that mistake twice, not and expect to live anyway. Loke wouldn't raise his hand to Mira, but she understood that it was his way of trying to move forward.

"I-I know," Loke whispered, "I'll smile for her when I can breathe again. I promise."

"Are you going to see Natsu in the hospital?" Mira changed the subject slightly.

"Didn't know he was there, but I doubt that he wants to see me," Loke replied, then drained half his glass in one pull before continuing, "What happened to him, anyway?"

"Gray caught him trying to...he tried to... kill himself last night," Mira's voice was shaking.

"Hmph, must be nice. At least he has that to look forward to, lucky bastard. I don't even have that much. I'll never get to see her again. No matter how many times I die. Next time you see Gray, tell him he's got a free bottle of anything he wants on me, as thanks for keeping that stupid dragon here with me," Loke retorted harshly, then finished off the mug in his hand, before returning to the latest sketch he was working on.

Mira blinked, and stared at him for a long moment before setting down two more mugs, and walking away with his empty glasses. She hadn't expected that reaction. She had expected him to get mad, and rush over to the hospital, but it seemed as though the news had only made him more bitter. Thinking through what he had just said as she worked behind the bar, she frowned deeply, and looked back at the slumped figure in the corner. A deep pang of sorrow rose up as she finally understood what he meant.

Loke was immortal. He would never die, he could never go to heaven, which is the only way he could ever see Lucy again. Her heart sank painfully.

Tears brimmed in Mira's eyes. He had truly loved Lucy. They had spoken of it many times, but he had never been able to convince Lucy of it. Now she was lost to him _forever_. And Loke had forever to regret that loss. Mirajane left the bar to find somewhere more private to shed her tears of sorrow at what her friend was facing.

A month later Natsu was released from the hospital to the care of Gray, and Erza. The doctors felt that he was emotionally stable enough again, but warned them to keep an eye on him, and not let him be alone for too long.

Happy had long since moved in with Gray. Natsu forgot about him all the time, never wanted to go anywhere with him. Happy felt like he couldn't talk to Natsu any more.

Gray understood. Gray would go fishing with Happy, and talk to him. Gray didn't get mad, and scream at him. Happy missed Lucy, she would have gone fishing with Happy. Lucy had never thrown anything at him. Natsu wasn't Natsu any more now that Lucy was gone. Happy was unhappy. Happy missed Lucy, but he missed Natsu more.

Natsu was dragged out on the first mission he had taken since the incident, by Erza, and Gray. He hated it. He couldn't even get excited about the three dozen thieves he was allowed to beat on. He did his part, and protected his Nakama, but it was clear to his team that his heart wasn't in the work.

After they returned to the guild, Gray tried to pick a fight with Natsu, just like old times. Natsu would only sigh brokenly, and put his head down on the table. Mira would bring food with a smile. She always brought his favorites. Nothing could get him the least bit worked up. He ate like every other miserable person. Slow, and uninterested. He had lost that love of life that had drawn so much attention before. He didn't even smile, never mind grin.

Natsu knew they didn't understand what he had lost. She was more than his Nakama. She was his girlfriend. The love of his life. He had dragged her on that mission. He had wanted the money for a house. It had been the perfect house. The property was like a giant rose garden. She loved roses. He was going to give her that house for her birthday. Natsu was going to have a ring made just for her. He was going to ask her to marry him in the rose garden of that house. He had never told anyone else. Not even Happy.

They didn't understand. No one understood. How could they? No one else loved his Lucy like he did. From the moment they had met they were saving each other. They were a team before they even knew each others names. She was the glow of his fire. He was the warmth of her smile. They had been fine alone, but they had been amazing together. They had fit so naturally, that now that she wasn't there, he felt empty, and cold.

Natsu lasted a mere three weeks after leaving the hospital. He woke for the millionth time that night, reaching out for her. She wasn't there. He couldn't stop dreaming about her laying next to him. He only slept from sheer exhaustion because of it. He closed his eyes, and a few minutes later he would wake reaching for her. He couldn't take it any more. It had been like this ever since he let her die. He didn't deserve to live. Not when he had failed to save her.

He had failed. He had failed when he was practically in the same damn room! That mage had even _warned_ him. Natsu was told that Lucy wasn't safe. Even after being warned, even though he was so close, he failed her. He had as good as killed her himself, with his own hands.

"Liar! You said you loved her, but you _lied_! You LIED! If you loved her, you would have saved her. You would have listened, you would have gone to her. You let her die. You killed her. You killed Lucy, Natsu Dragneel!" Natsu screamed at himself as he sat curled in the corner of his small bedroom, "You killed her. You killed Lucy! Lucy... Lucy... Lucy..."


	3. Sundered And Undone

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Violence, dark suggestive themes, very strong and very colorful language. Rating probably M. As always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) This is my first ever Fan fiction of any kind _ever_. Please be honest but don't be hateful or petty. Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 3

Sundered And Undone

It was almost three a.m., Erza had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was worried about Natsu. He was getting worse again. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. He was broken. Losing Lucy had broken him. It was a defeat that she was afraid the dragon slayer would never recover from.

Erza threw the covers off, and climbed out of bed. She had to check. She needed to make sure Natsu was still hanging on to his sanity. She requiped into her usual armor, and hurried from the room.

She rushed from the guild dormitory, and out into the street. Erza sighed as the still oppressive heat lingered.

Summer in it's death throws, knowing that autumn was not more than a month away, fought back by refusing to allow the temperature to drop even in the dark of night. Soon, however, the heat would fade and the leaves would begin to change.

Erza walked quickly through the darkened streets of Magnolia. She knew the way to Natsu's home by heart. She was tired, and cold. This was her routine, and had been for the last few weeks. She would go to check on Natsu at least three times a night. She was worried about him. He had never taken anyone's death so hard before.

Loosing Lucy had hit everyone in the guild hard. Even Bixlow, and Gajeel had taken the news gravely. Mira had lost her smile for over two weeks. Elfman stopped saying anything about being a man, but later told Erza that a real man knows when to shut up. Happy quit talking about fish for so long that she had taken him to the vet.

Erza brushed away the tears that had come to her eyes as she turned the corner, and approached Natsu's front door. She paused taking a deep breath. No one was really okay. Loke refused to return to his world, had given up any, and all company, and had taken to spending his nights laying on Lucy's grave. Erza shivered. It was creepy, and morbid. It was heartbreaking. He loved her so much. They all had.

Lucy had been her best friend. The only female she had ever felt she could always turn to no matter what. She could confide in Lucy. Lucy would explain things that Erza didn't understand about being more... well, girly. Erza had learned to be more prim and proper. Lucy had taught her about the finer details of social etiquette. Lucy had helped Erza become a lady, not just a woman. She missed her dearest friend in ways she felt she would never be able to express to anyone.

"LUCY!"

Erza jumped shaken from her reverie. It was the first time she had heard Natsu speak Lucy's name since her death. She grabbed the door knob. It was locked. She threw her shoulder against the solid wood. On the third try the lock gave up, and the door slammed open.

"Natsu! Natsu, where are you?" Erza yelled in the darkness of the small living room. She had to find him. The only other time he had spoken Lucy's name had been when Gray had caught him trying to kill himself.

"Natsu Dragneel answer me! Where are you?" Erza snapped, fear making her sweat, and shake.

"Lucy. Lucy, please I'm sorry. Lucy," Natsu sobbed.

Erza followed Natsu's voice, thankful that his place was so small. Erza found him in the corner of his bedroom covered in blood. She snatched the knife away so fiercely that it cut his hand as it passed through his fingers. The dragon slayer attacked her. Erza was caught off guard as Natsu punched her in the face with a very animalistic snarl, his fist hidden within intense flames. She fell back, the knife falling out of her hands, and clattering across the floor.

"Leave me the fuck alone! Let me die! I killed her! I killed my Lucy! I killed her, now I'm gonna kill me," Natsu snarled with more emotion than he'd shown in a long time. He reached for the knife again. Blood was pouring from both his arms where he'd carved long jagged tares from his wrists to his elbows. Erza requiped into her Flame Empress Armor. She lunged at Natsu as he brought the knife up, this time aiming for his neck. They became a flurry of arms, legs, blood and fire. Natsu had never won against her. Erza refused to let him win now.

"Stop this, Natsu! Stop! She loved you! She still loves you! She wouldn't want this! Lucy would be heartbroken if she saw you like this! This won't bring her back to us! Stop!" Erza screamed at him as she fought for control of the knife.

"Let me die! Let me join her! I killed her! I killed Lucy!" Natsu spat back. Tears still flowing, blurring his vision, choking him with the pain of his words.

"If that was true I would kill you myself!" she shrieked. Natsu stopped, frozen at the thought. Erza continued, as she began to sob, "I'm guilty too, Natsu! I was there! I couldn't save her either! At least you got to say good bye! She was my very _best_ friend, and I failed her! It was _my_ dagger! It was _my_ dagger that killed her, that killed Lucy! I-I didn't even know it was gone until it was too late! I'm as guilty as you are, Natsu," she whispered the last sentence. She had beat herself in the chest with each statement and it had only served to make it harder to talk.

"I-I-I kn-now it was yours. I...remember when she gave it to you," Natsu was sobbing again as he remembered her smiling, happy face.

Lucy had been so proud of finding the strange weapon on a mission. She had given it to Erza as a birthday present. No one knew anything about it, other than it was an ancient dagger with a unique power. It had been part of a special set, but they didn't know which one in the collection it was. Even the magic council didn't have the ability to identify it clearly.

As it turned out, that dagger had the power to drain a mage's magical powers, and keep that power locked away. It allowed the wielder to use the power held in the weapon whenever they wished. Lucy had unknowingly found her own death. Her best friends had unwittingly dragged her to her early demise.

Erza pulled Natsu out of his reverie as she hauled him to his feet. The knife fell noisily to the floor in a pool of blood. Without a word, Erza picked the dragon slayer up, and set to marching straight to the hospital.

"I still want to die, Erza," Natsu told her, "One of these times, I'll succeed. Eventually, you and Gray won't be able to stop me. I can't live knowing that I killed her. I was standing right there. I let her die. That mage even warned me. He told me she wasn't safe. That she wasn't safe as long as she was in the temple, and I ignored him. I let her die, even though I knew she was in danger. I killed her."

"I will always stop you, Natsu. I will save you because that's what Lucy would want. She wouldn't care who killed her. You or me. She would want me to save you, so I'll do it for her," Erza said without emotion.

Natsu didn't reply. She looked at the man that she was carrying. His eyes were lolling, his body limp. He was bleeding to death in her arms. Erza gritted her teeth, and ran, praying to reach the hospital before it was too late.

Mira sighed as she approached Loke. She didn't know if she should tell him, or not. He didn't look up as she took his empty glasses. He didn't seem to notice as she set three fresh mugs on the table, careful not to spill. It was unforgivable to damage the drawings. You could do a lot of things, and Loke wouldn't flinch, but you _always_ added sama to Lucy's name, and you _never_ threatened the drawings.

Mira walked back to the bar, and set down the tray of glasses. Most of the guild already knew that Natsu was back in the hospital. Erza had a broken nose, several burns, and a few lacerations from the fight. Mira shuddered at the thought of how desperate Natsu must be to have managed to injure Erza enough to put the warrior in the hospital too.

Loke might go to visit Erza. She was one of the few people that the Spirit would talk to. Mira sighed, and walked back to Loke's dark nook.

He didn't seem to notice Mira approach. She jumped in surprise as Loke's voice rumbled softly, "I'm not polishing them off _that_ fast, at least not yet. Did you want to talk, or was there something else that I can do for you, Mira?"

"I...um...Can I sit?" Mirajane asked gently, uncertain of how to broach the subject of Natsu's new attempt, and Erza being hospitalized by it.

"Be my guest," Loke purred smoothly as he waved coolly at the chair nearest him. Several people had notice the unusual interaction, as no one bothered the resident lion without good reason. He was terrible company, and was easily angered. Mira ignored the stares, and took the offered seat. Her heart was racing, and she was nervous. She bit her lip as she tried to think of how to tell him without upsetting him.

Loke noticed her discomfort. He sighed, and sat back in his chair. Slowly he leaned toward the gentle bar maid. He took her fingers delicately in his own, and brushed a soft kiss across the back of her hand. She smiled brightly at his sweet natured gesture.

"Mira, my dear friend, I will never do anything to harm you. My Princess would never forgive me. Please do not be afraid of this broken lion. I'd never be more than an over sized kitten with any lady, but even more so with any friend of My Beloved," Loke purred in his most charming manner. For a moment behaving like his old self. Mira's eyes glittered with sudden tears. Her chin trembled, but her most beautiful smile broke out on her face, lighting the entire guild with it's warm glow.

"Ne! Loke! I miss seeing you be so sweet. Thank you," Mira beamed.

Loke smirked for the first time since Lucy died. Mirajane noticed, and grinned happily. Her smile faded slowly as she remembered why she'd come over to speak with him.

"What disturbs you, Mira?" Loke asked as the moment passed, and he sank back into his quiet, brooding depression.

She looked away into the darkness of the corner. She pressed her lips together before speaking, "I wanted to know if you'll visit Erza in the hospital?"

Loke's head snapped up as his eyes widened in shock, "Why is _Erza_ in the hospital? She was fine yesterday, and she hasn't taken a mission."

Mira sighed, "Well, she had a hard time stopping him. It's nothing serious. The doctor said she'll be fine in a few days. Just a broken nose, some burns, and a few cuts. They don't expect it to scar too badly."

"From what?!" Loke demanded. He was not taking it very well. Mira was beginning to worry if telling him had been the right thing to do.

"She, she caught Natsu last night. He, He was trying to kill himself again. She had to fight him. He almost succeeded. He's stable now though. The doctors said he'd recover in about a week," Mira rushed through the explanation. She clasped her hands in her lap, twisting them painfully. She was afraid to look at Loke. She didn't know how the Lion Spirit would react. She was scared.

Loke was outraged. He swallowed it though when he saw Mirajane trembling. He would control his anger. He would honor his lady love by handling her loved ones gently. Well, most of them at least. Natsu, on the other hand, Loke was ready to tare into. He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down.

"Yes," Loke growled a little more harshly than he intended, "I will go visit Erza. Thank you for telling me, Mira. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be fine. I'll...I will have a _talk_ with that _stupid dragon_ about his actions. I know My Princess would be displeased, if I allowed him to continue on in this manner any longer."

Loke rose without another word. Everyone in the guild noticed the lion as he exited. He hadn't walked that proudly since the incident. Loke had a mission. He would continue to serve his Lucy the only way he could.

Erza was fine. Loke sat with her for a while. She was surprised when he asked her the details of what had happened the night before with "that stupid dragon". That was how Loke referred to, and addressed Natsu on the _very_ rare occasions that they did talk to each other. Natsu on the other hand referred to Loke as "that fucking lion".

She was worried. Erza hadn't seen Loke so full of life, so energetic since before that day. He, and Natsu avoided each other like the plague. She couldn't remember the last time they had actually exchanged words in a civil manner. They had spoken after the funeral but it had turned into an all out war between them in a matter of seconds. It had taken literally the entire guild to break it up. Even Master Makarov had to get involved to end it. Now Loke was planning on having a "sit down talk with that stupid dragon". This could not end well.

As soon as Loke left her room, Erza grabbed the phone, and called Mira. Just in case Mira _hadn't_ notice that Loke _wasn't_ parked at his little table of doom and gloom.

Loke made his way to Natsu's room. A dangerous smoldering look in his eyes. Gray was parked in a chair by the door. When he saw Loke bearing down on him, he almost fell out of said chair.

"H-hey Loke. Whacha doin' here?" Gray asked, hoping to intercept the Spirit before the hospital became a battle ground.

"I need to speak with that stupid dragon. Step aside, Gray," Loke ordered quietly without looking at the ice mage.

"He's not really in any condition for visitors, Loke. You two can't stand looking at each other normally. I can't let you beat on him right now," Gray countered. He was determined to keep the peace.

"I'm not looking to fight, I just need to _talk_ to that moron. Clearly you and Erza can not get through to him. I refuse to fail My Princess _ever_ again. Now, _step aside, boy_," Loke growled dangerously. He lifted his eyes, and leveled his gaze at Gray. Loke was not wearing his sunglasses.

Gray went sheet white, and stumbled away, tripping over his vacated chair. He was too frightened to wet his pants, or he would have done just that. Gray had seen a lot, but he had never had death, itself, look him in the eyes like that before. He'd not soon forget those green eyes, and their promise of a lifetime of agony if the demand was not met in a timely fashion. Ice was warmer than what was in Loke's piercing green eyes.

Loke swept through the door, and closed it softly behind him, leaving Gray standing, still shaken in the hall.

Natsu was staring out of the window at the pale blue sky. He didn't turn when the door opened, or when it closed. He didn't care who had come in. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. At least until the scent of the person reached his nose.

His eyes went wide, then narrowed dangerously. His head snapped around to glare at the intruder.

"Get the fuck out, you fucking lion!" Natsu screeched. Anger twisting his pale features.

"We need to talk," Loke growled back. He moved quietly to a chair beside the bed, and seated himself without permission.

"I don't wanna hear your shit! Get out!" Natsu shot back. He forced himself to sit up. He was still dangerously weak from the blood loss, and the room seemed to ripple around him for a moment.

"Shut up, Natsu!" Loke snapped.

Natsu froze. The anger bleeding away in the sudden shock. Loke hadn't used his name in so long, he couldn't think of what could have brought the Lion Spirit to do so now.

"What do you want?" Natsu managed while eying the other suspiciously.

"To talk. Didn't you hear me the first time, or did you try to bleed yourself out through your ears?" Loke taunted. A sneer on his lips.

"I'll start there next time so that I don't have to listen to your pathetic growling, asshole," Natsu shot back heatedly. Words were currently his only weapon. And since Lucy's death he had started using words that Lucy probably didn't know that Natsu even knew existed.

"There will not be a next time," Loke said patiently, "You will not continue to dishonor My Beloved in this manner, Natsu Dragneel."

"_Your_ Beloved! Fuck you, you son of a bitch! She was _my_ girlfriend! I loved-" Loke cut Natsu short as he dragged the injured dragon slayer from his bed, and slammed him against the wall, pinning him there. He was shaking with barely controlled rage. Hot tears already running down his face. Natsu's eyes widened in both shock, and pain.

"Shut up you sniveling dragon whelp!" Loke snarled.

"Whelp?!"

"Shut IT!" Loke screamed. He breathed heavily for a moment, before continuing in a tear choked, bitter voice, "I already know _fully_ what you were to each other. You had what I wanted from the moment I met her. I will _never_ have that. _Ever_! You have one lifetime, ONE! To suffer through without her. I have all of eternity! I have lost _the_ love of my _entire_ life! You had her. You, _you_ had her heart, her love. She smiled for you, as she smiled for no other! I could not convince her of my love. I love her enough to let her be happy, even if that is in the arms of another. I love her enough that I never_, never_ said, or did anything to discourage you. I did not hold it against you, even though it ripped my heart out to see you with her. That's how deeply I love My Princess. Do not-"

"Bullshit! You threatened me when we first got together! You just couldn't scare me off!" Natsu interrupted fiercely.

"No, you stupid dragon, think about it. Remember my _exact_ words. I told you that if you _ever_ made her cry, I would carve you into pieces, and turn you into earrings for all of my stupid fan girls to wear. I _never_ said anything about staying away from her. I never, _never_ tried to come between you. _That_ is how deeply I love her. Do not question that again," Loke responded. His tears falling freely.

"You don't understand what she means to me. No one does. No one else loves her like I do! No one-" Natsu spat before Loke cut him off.

"How _dare_ you!" Loke screeched as his glowing fist slammed into the stone wall beside Natsu's head. The stones split in a number of radiating cracks that spread from under the Stellar Spirits fist. He was shaking violently.

He swallowed his outrage, and breathed heavily before continuing in a deeply pained voice, "You are the one that doesn't understand how much I love her. I petitioned to have her written into the very _stars_! I fought to have her given immortality! That petition was approved, Natsu! All I asked was that you wait even one more day to leave! But No! No, you couldn't do that, could you?! It had to be _your_ way. She died one, _ONE_!, day too soon! If she had lived until sunrise it would have been in effect! My Princess would still be _alive_! So do not _dare_ tell _me_ that I don't understand! I know, Natsu. I know how you feel. I know I am not alone in this pain, this excruciating _agony_, so long as _you_ are still alive. I know, you stupid dragon."

"No. No one knows. No one knows the truth about why I wanted that money so badly. Now I have it, and it means _nothing_ because she's not here," Natsu was crying, almost sobbing, shaking his head as though trying to free himself of the knowledge trapped inside his own skull.

Loke snorted derisively, "You think I don't know? You truly are dense. I know. I have always known. That's why I hate you so much. I lost her to _you_, and you were so focused on what you wanted to give her, that you lost her for all of us. Forever. You didn't even buy the house, or the ring. I knew. I always knew. I always watched My Sweet Princess.

I knew you were planning something so I started watching you. I saw your design for the ring. It was fucking beautiful. I knew she would love it. I cried for a week. Then I found out how much it would cost, and the price of that house, and I knew there was no way you could afford either, never mind _both_. Then that damn mission was posted. She didn't want to go. I didn't want her to go. You made her go, just like you always did. You found a way to get her to agree.

You kept your promise though. Not that you have had much choice. You've never begged her to do another mission that she didn't want to since. Did you really think that I, _I_ wouldn't know the truth? Did you really believe you were so clever that I, of all people, wouldn't be keeping so close a watch on you that you couldn't even _think_ of another without me knowing? Stupid dragon.

After all that you've taken from me, after all that you've cost me, how can you refuse to suffer along side me for just one lifetime? Just this one lifetime without her, that's all you have. I have _forever_, and I never got to hold her like you did. Why are you so ready to leave me with this pain to carry all alone?" Loke's tirade ended softly with him nearly crying on Natsu's shoulder.

"You, you _knew_?" Natsu was staring disbelievingly, into the air beyond the weeping Lion Spirit, that still held him pinned to the wall.

Loke nodded dumbly, the tears choking off any hope of speech at that moment.

"I can't do this. I can't allow myself to live. I killed her. She was everything to me, and I as good as killed her, with my own hands. I should die for that," Natsu tried to explain his logic.

Loke's mind snapped. His voice returned in a rush. The tears vanishing as memories flooded back to him.

"No! No, if you had killed her, you wouldn't be sucking wind right now! I would have killed you, just like the other two! I can still hear them begging for death! Their screams of agony didn't last _nearly_ long enough. I painted the walls of that temple... with their BLOOD!" Loke confessed wildly, an insane glitter coming into his eyes as he spoke, meeting Natsu's gaze for the first time since entering the room.

"Wha-what the hell are you talking about? I killed those two ba-" Natsu started but Loke cut him off.

"Did you _really_ believe that you beat them to death?! Where did you think I was for a week straight? Think about it! Did you think that I would not seek retribution? If you want to believe that you killed My Princess, tell me now! I will personally drag you back to that temple, and do a touch up on my master piece!" Loke paused as if seeking dramatic effect, "Glorious life sized murals of My Beloved, on every single wall! Drawn entirely in blood!" Loke began to laugh in the most disturbing manner Natsu had ever heard.

He'd had a mental break down upon Lucy's death, but it never occurred to anyone that perhaps, the Lion Spirit had never fully recovered from it. Sure he spent his days drinking, and drawing pictures of her. Some of the members of Fairy Tail knew that he spent his nights at her grave. This bit of news, however, put all of it in a whole new, and rather disturbing light. Loke was clinically insane. What was worse, was how well he had managed to hide it for so long.

Natsu blinked. A strange, half smile creeping across his face. He tilted his head slightly to one side, as his eyes began to glitter, imaging what Loke had done.

"Really?" Natsu asked, sounding pleased.

Loke grinned, and nodded brightly. They grinned at each other for a long moment, like they had just done something wonderful, that would be celebrated the world over.

"Show me," Natsu said, grinning in the large, childish manner that he had been known for.

"Kay," Loke beamed, "but you gotta get well enough to leave first, stupid dragon."

The two men stood grinning at each other, like they had just realized that they were best friends.

Behind the two way mirror in Natsu's room, the scene was taken in by the watchers, as something far more disconcerting, than the dragon, or lion could understand, in their current state of mental instability.

"Uh...At least they aren't trying to kill each other?" Gray tried to be as positive as possible, given the frightening revelation. He broke the stunned silence that held everyone captive.

Master Makarov sighed heavily, "I was afraid of this. If those two don't regain their sanity, we may have some very real problems, that involve a lot of people suffering needlessly. Loke has been keeping it together by doing as Lucy would have wished. Natsu, however, I'm worried that Natsu may very well snap. Getting control of an insane fire dragon slayer, is not on the list of things to attempt, if you wish to avoid a painful death.  
I'm not sure if allowing, either of them, to return to her death site is a better choice, than trying to stop them. It may well destroy what little reason they have left. Or it may just help them get through the grieving process. Then again, it could undo all the progress that they have made thus far. Hmmm...Erza, I want you to tell them that they are not allowed to leave Magnolia. If they stay here very well. If they do leave, then let them go. Don't tell them until after Natsu is released from the hospital though. None of you are to breathe a word of this to anyone else."

Master Makarov turned, and left the room without another word.

Gray, Erza, and Mira remained unmoving for a long moment.

"I think you should get back to bed now, Erza," Mira offered gently. She couldn't hide the deep concern on her pretty face. Erza nodded, and allowed the other woman to assist her out of the viewing room, and back to her own bed in the hospital.

Gray didn't move. He continued to watch both, fascinated, and horrified by what he was witnessing.

Loke, and Natsu had stood for a long while, grinning at each other. Finally, Loke helped Natsu back to the bed. They were talking like giddy children awaiting Christmas. Gray shook his head, and left. Which was probably all for the better considering the next turn in events.

Natsu laid back as Loke pulled the blankets up to the dragon slayer's waist. He sat on the edge of the bed, grinning like a march hare. Without warning, he stroked the side of Natsu's grinning face. Natsu began to laugh, clearly amused. Loke leaned forward, and rested his forehead on Natsu's.

"Natsu," Loke whispered, as he stared intently into the other's eyes. His expression became much more serious, but remained gentle, "Live with me, Natsu. Don't leave me alone. We can share our love of our Princess with each other now. We can even get her the house. We'll take care of it just as she would have. Will you, Natsu? Will you live with me for her?"

Natsu stopped grinning as Loke spoke quietly. He thought about what Loke was asking. He liked the idea. Loke knew. Loke understood. Maybe if Loke was with him, the pain wouldn't be so bad any more. Natsu nodded.

"Okay, I will," Natsu agreed.

Loke smiled sadly. Tears stinging his eyes, and dripping out from under his closed lids. He tilted his head slightly, and kissed Natsu.

Natsu inhaled sharply, frozen in place for a moment. He closed his eyes, and returned the kiss. They were kissing Lucy. They were kissing the woman they mutually loved. They were just doing so through each other. Natsu wrapped his bandaged arms around the Lion's neck, and sobbed deeply without breaking the kiss. A long moment later, Loke pulled away. He gently gathered the other to him. Natsu didn't resist. He buried his face in Loke's shirt, and cried as he hadn't allowed himself to do so before. He didn't fight the tears that came. He bawled broken heartedly, until several hours later, when he finally fell asleep.

Loke remained with Natsu, allowing Natsu to hold him as he had once held Lucy, until an hour before sunrise. He woke Natsu, and told him where he was going before he left. Natsu had nodded, then fallen back to sleep. Finally at peace in the knowledge that he was not alone. There was another who truly understood his pain, his grief, his agonizing, bottomless sorrow. The truth of it, the knowledge of their mutual pain having passed between them in the kiss they had shared. They had each loved her equally, and lost equally.

"Good morning, My Princess, the sunrise is truly beautiful this morning," Loke purred as he lay on his back beside Lucy's grave. This was his morning ritual. He greeted the day with her. In his broken mind, he heard her answer, as if she were actually there. He smiled his most charming smile at the thin air beside him where he could "see" her. It never occurred to him that it was all in his head. If he reached out he would tell you that he could feel her. He would swear that she was just as real as he was.

"I must apologize for not coming here to watch the sunset with you, My Love. I was holding your dragon for you. I finally told him the truth," Loke paused as if listening.

"Both, actually. I'm not sure if he understands the petition, or not. Your dragon can be a little dense about such things. He did, however, understand about the paintings I did of you. He wants to see them. When he's well enough to travel, we can all go together," Loke beamed. She was talking to him again.

"Yes, My Love, you were right. I should not have left the task to Gray, and Erza. Rest assured that from now on, I will make sure your dragon doesn't hurt himself any more, Princess. I promise. He's going to be just fine, My Dearest," Loke responded. He smiled once more. He reached out, and stroked the air. His smile began to fade.

"Yes, Beloved, you are probably right. As it pleases my Lady, I shall take my leave. I will return to your dragon's side. Oh! Are you going to join us, Princess?" Loke paused as he came to his feet, "Splendid! I'm sure he will be delighted. I know he hasn't come to see you yet. Stu- Ahem, forgive me, Princess. I know you dislike me calling him that, but you must admit, sometimes he really is."

Loke beamed happily, as he made his way back to the hospital, walking as though he were arm in arm with someone on his left. He didn't notice the strange stares that followed his passing.


	4. It's Not What You Think

_**{Author's Note: **_Be for warned, this chapter contains hints of some Guy x Guy pairing. Oh yeah, I went there. Don't worry I bought property. Hehehehe Nothing hardcore just implied. Rating for this chapter I would probably give it a T just to be safe cause um yeah I have no real clue how to rate. Again as always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 4

It's Not What You Think

Natsu was out of the hospital in a week. He, and Loke were inseparable. A few days later the pair moved into the little cottage surrounded by roses. Natsu ordered the ring he had wanted to give Lucy.

As much as everyone worried about their sanity when the pair first appeared in the guild together, they did not appear as unbalanced as they had been that first day in the hospital. They were still somber, and reclusive. Now they were together, brooding in the dark corner of the guild hall. They were still just as unapproachable as they had been before. They didn't talk to each other, at least not from what anyone else could tell. They simply sat there, and drank.

Disturbingly, Natsu had taken up drawing Lucy as well. Mira worried more than most, because unlike most of the members, she had seen just how truly insane they both were that day. Anyone that actually paid attention, was concerned with the subtle fact that it seemed at no point in time were Natsu, and Loke not touching. Sometimes it was as subtle as their feet, other times it was as blatant as an arm around the waist, or shoulders. Most of the time they held hands, left hand to left hand, as they sat quietly drawing, drinking, unspeaking.

Gray explained, to anyone that asked him; that they were both insane from loosing Lucy. Natsu, and Loke had finally realized that they, two, were the only ones that could truly understand each others pain. They could get along because together they were not alone any more.

They did remain in Magnolia, as ordered by Erza, because Lucy would expect them to. After a week, they began showing up at the guild later, and later in the day. Everyone noticed that they left earlier each day as well. It didn't really surprise anyone when they quit coming in at all. But it worried Mira, Gray, Erza, and Master Makarov. Happy was always being sent to spy on the strange pair.

All that they did, it seemed, was tended the roses, or clean the house, or sit quietly together, and draw. No matter what it was, however, they were always together. Always touching in even the smallest way.

Just as the fears of their closest friends began to settle, Happy told them something that none of them were sure what to think about it.

"I-I _can't_ believe it!" Happy cried, as he landed on the guild master's desk, "WHY?! Why would Natsu, and Loke...Why would they _kiss_?!"

Mira choked on her muffin as Gray, and Erza performed synchronized spit takes. A round of coughing, and sputtering chorused for a few moments as the three tried to clear their lungs, and throats.

Makarov raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Are you certain that's what happened?" he asked the shocked blue cat. Happy nodded dumbly, eyes wide with worry.

"Aye! They were getting ready to go inside, and Loke let go of Natsu's hand. That's a first right there! They're ALWAYS touching. Always! Natsu turned around real fast. He looked like he was gonna cry. Next thing I know, BAM! Lip lock! Like- Like- Like he used to do with, with Lucy!" Happy was waving his paws wildly as he talked, as if acting out what he'd seen.

"Wait, wait, wait. You mean like, kiss as in like, just a quick peck on the lips, right? He was always kissing Lucy like that around the guild. It was probably an accident, or something," Gray said relaxing out of his shock.

"Aye! No!" Happy shouted. The blue cat looked around, and grabbed a fish off the plate that was waiting for him. Using his favorite food as a model, Happy continued, "Hands in the hair, can't hold you close enough, KISS! I mean like, open mouth, and TONGUE action, kiss! The kind that always leads to me sleeping in the living room, kinda kiss! Like you, and Juvia!"

Happy then attempted to perform a visual reenactment with the deceased fish. Normally, Gray would have blushed a bright red, but instead, Gray went green. He swallowed hard, as his large round eyes stared, unblinking into the air before him. He'd often shared a tent with both of them. This was something he'd never suspected, well at least not of Natsu. He'd sometimes had his doubts about Loke.

It wasn't so much that they were two dudes, it was more that he'd never known that they liked other guys like that, and given his closeness to both as friends, as Nakama, and his proclivity for removing his clothes, if this news got out in the guild, it was possible that Gray may never live it down. He was ready to throw up. He could feel his stomach churning as his ears already began to ring with the jeers, and taunts of the other guild members about just how "close" their team was.

"Gray, you spew in here, and when your done cleaning it up, I may well punish you with _that_, for making my office stink," Makarov stated calmly, as he watched Gray closely.

It had the desired effect, Gray turned sheet white. It didn't last though. After a few seconds, Gray bolted for the door. If possible, he was even more green than before. Not enough time passed before the sounds of vomiting, lofted back through the open doorway, followed quickly by a scream and several groans of disgust.

Gray hadn't reached the bathroom. He had only made it as far as the balcony. Cana was screaming up at him in some of the most colorful language any of them had ever heard. Levy was too shocked, horrified and disgusted to do anything but stand there shaking violently. Her face a kaleidoscope of emotions.

"A real man _never_ throws up on a woman! A real man does not throw up because throwing up is not manly! If a real man ever does throw up, he uses a bathroom, or a trashcan! A real man cleans up after himself! A real man does not use a woman as a maid, unless that woman is a maid, but only if she is _his_ maid. Even then a real man cleans up after himself, because a real man does not make more work for a woman! This is the most UNMANLY thing you have _ever_ done, Gray Fullbuster! You are _NOT_ a man, man!" Elfman screamed at Gray, looking for all the world like he might kill the ice mage on the spot.

As well he might have, if only he didn't feel the strong need to help Levy, who was still standing frozen. "Don't move, Levy-chan, I will fix this, because a real man fixes things like this. I-I-I will get a towel. We'll get you cleaned up. I promise. We'll get you in the shower, just don't, don't move, Levy-chan."

Levy finally settled on an emotion, she promptly burst into tears, too horrified, and disgust by suddenly wearing Gray's lunch to do anything else. Elfman hurried to find a towel for the filth-covered Levy.

"If, if, if you didn't... like the lunch... you could have just... _said_ so!" Levy wailed, "You d-d-didn't have to be so... meeeeeeeeeaaaaannn!"

Levy cried, because she couldn't do anything else. She couldn't try to clean up the mess, because she was _part_ of the mess, and so would only make it worse. She couldn't clean herself up, because that would spread the mess too. All she could do was stand there, helplessly.

Elfman brought a towel for Cana too, as she had been caught in the splash zone. After all, a real man takes care of all of the women he knows.

Gray helped to set the bar back to rights, after gushing apologies to Levy, and Cana, who was still shooting him deadly glares. Thankfully, the rest of team Shadow Gear wasn't around. Neither was Gajeel. Levy had been filling in for Mirajane both, in the kitchen, and at the bar. Elfman had been helping with the bar as well. Gray promised Levy it wasn't the food. He assured her that the meal had been so good that it was still delicious when it came back up. Levy wasn't sure how to take that. Elfman fumed non-stop as Gray tried to clean up the bar, while Elfman helped Levy get clean enough to not leave a trail if she tried to walk. Gray took Elfman's lecture all in silence. Normally, Elfman might have said that that was what a real man would do, but it would take a lot more than that, for him to call Gray manly anytime soon. If he ever did so again at all.

Back in Makarov's office, those that remained had waited for the noise to die down. Mira wanted to go help, but Makarov insisted that they would need her insight on these matters, and the other members could handle the rest. She had sighed, and nodded in understanding. Erza closed the door so that they could continue without being overheard.

"What happened after that, Happy?" Erza asked, returning to her seat with a heavy sigh.

"I fell down," Happy said simply.

"Fell down? What do you mean? I thought you were flying? Oh, you didn't fall off the roof again, did you?" Mira questioned.

"Aye! I was flying! I forgot to flap," Happy answered.

"Then what happened?" Erza nudged, trying to find out just how "close" Loke and Natsu had become.

"After I fell?" Happy asked, blinking his large round eyes.

"Yes," Erza said.

"Oh! Um..." Happy seemed to be lost in thought. Absently, he began to nom his fish. His audience waited in patient silence. "Hmm...well...," Happy finally continued, "Natsu was crying, and Loke just kept saying sorry, and Natsu kept saying don't leave me, and it was hard to understand 'cause they were both talking at the same time. Then I got bored. I think they should put in a fish pond! Maybe under that big tree, that way there's a shady spot for fishing! I hope they fill it with trout, or some-"

"Happy, was there anything _else_ that Natsu, or Loke said, or did?" Erza asked, trying to get the blue feline back on topic.

"Um, Well, they went inside," Happy replied, "Grouper would also be good I think."

"Well, we can't really expect more than that to happen, they were outside after all," Mira said thoughtfully.

"Hmm...At least they seem stable. At least, as long as they are in contact with each other. The problem that comes in is this; Loke can not remain here for the rest of Natsu's life. Eventually he will have no choice, but to return to the spirit world, or disappear forever," Makarov said, after a long pause, and some deep thought.

"Master? Why do they always set three places at the table for meals?" Happy asked suddenly, "I haven't seen anyone else there at all. Do you think that maybe someone else is living there?"

Three sets of eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Why didn't you report something like that sooner?!" Erza snapped.

"I didn't think it was important. You told me to report anything strange, or important. It's not really strange, at least not to me," Happy replied, looking down at his half-eaten fish glumly, a little upset from being chastised.

"They do so for every meal you say?" Makarov questioned thoughtfully.

"Aye! Without fail, glass, plate, silverware, napkin, they even pour a drink, and serve food! I never see anyone else though. I wonder who it's for?" Happy returned, brightly.

"Master, do you think that they are keeping a place for the dead?" Mira asked softly after a moment.

Makarov didn't answer for a long time. He seemed lost in thought as he worried his pipe in silence.

"What exactly is that, Mira?" Erza spoke softly to the other woman.

"Well, I've heard of people sometimes honoring their dead loved ones by keeping their place. You keep their room, or home for them, keep a setting at the table for them. Usually it's only for special occasions, or specific days. In day to day life, it's um, not really normal. Natsu isn't from that part of the world, so this would have to be Loke's influence. What's the strangest about it is that it's not Lucy-sama's home. She didn't live there. That I know of, she had no connection to the place. If they are keeping a place for the dead, then I would have to say that this is not normal on any level," Mira explained.

"That is what concerns me as well," Makarov said suddenly, startling both of the women, and the cat.

"You made me drop my fish!" Happy cried. Mira retrieved it from the floor for him.

"I think we should pay them a visit tomorrow," Makarov announced.

"Aye! I'll keep an eye on them again tomorrow, but I'll need more yummy fish!" Happy exclaimed brightly.

"I mean all of us, not just you, Happy. You are all to meet with me tomorrow before noon. We will go together," Makarov ordered.

"Yes, master. I don't think it would be wise to bring Gray, though. Considering his reaction to Happy's earlier report, I think he might not be suited to dealing with the situation properly," Erza offered.

Mira nodded solemnly, "I agree. I think he needs time to deal with his own feelings about this turn in events."

"Agreed, tomorrow then," Makarov said as a way of dismissing the meeting.


	5. The World In A Whisper

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: some innuendo, I would rate at T just to be safe. As Always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 5

The World In A Whisper

Loke and Natsu were in a deep conversation as they made lunch. They both jumped, and looked at each other in surprise when they heard the knock on the front door. After a moment it sounded again. With a shrug, Loke took Natsu's hand, and they went to see who had come.

Natsu opened the door. Both men blinked. Erza stood there eying the the two men before her.

"Um...Hi, Erza. What brings you here?" Loke asked, after a moment.

"You two are acting strangely. We are worried about you. We haven't seen either of you at the guild hall in over a week. We have questions that need answered. May we come in?"

"No! Lucy hated it when people just showed up!" Natsu answered heatedly, agitated that his conversation with Loke had been interrupted.

"She hated when people broke into her house, and raided her fridge. That never stopped you, though. I'm not barging in, I knocked at the door, and I'm still standing on the porch," Erza replied calmly. She brushed her hair back away from her face. The burn across the left side of her face was still pink, and healing. It would scar. Her nose was no longer straight, and boasted a distinct hook in the bridge. She still had stitches at a sharp diagonal on her chin that ran up to her lip. That would scar too.

Natsu looked away, suddenly feeling deeply guilty. He was all too aware that the damage to her pretty face was from him, when they had fought for the knife.

Loke cleared his throat, "What questions did you have?"

"I need to speak with Lucy-sama. Is she here?" Makarov pushed passed Erza.

Everyone stared at him like he was completely insane.

"Uh...no, she's not. What are you playing at?" Loke responded, after a long pause.

Makarov sighed. He didn't hesitate. He walked straight in, and sat on a couch in the living room.

"Hey! Get the hell out, old man! No one said you could come in!" Natsu yelled at him.

Loke squeezed Natsu's hand until the other hissed, and glared at him.

"Do not be rude to the master. Princess would have been honored to have him over," Loke growled, easily returning the glare.

"Tch, whatever. He still shouldn't just walk in like that," Natsu returned with a sniff.

Loke sighed, and turned back to those on the porch, "You might as well, all come in, and have a seat. Would you care for lunch, or have you already eaten?"

"Now we're feeding them too?! Ugh! What's your deal? Oh, I get it! You just don't wanna finish our talk 'cause I was winnin', right?" Natsu groused loudly.

"We'll talk more about it later," Loke growled, "Princess always offered her visitors a meal, or at least a drink. She was very thoughtful, and polite. Stop being rude, Natsu"

Natsu huffed, falling into a smoldering, silent funk. He didn't want to see these people. He didn't want them here. He didn't want to see Erza the most. He didn't like her face, namely what he had done to it.

"Do you have any fish?" asked a familiar voice, only much softer, and meeker than it normally was.

Natsu, and Loke both turned. Happy was standing quietly just behind Erza's right leg. He didn't look at either of them. He looked frightened. Loke didn't understand why. Natsu did.

"Um, I'm not sure, but I'll check. I haven't seen you in a very long time, Happy. Where have you been?" Loke purred at the blue cat, gently. He had always liked Happy. So had Lucy.

"Aye, I-I live with Gray now," Happy said sadly, "He's, um, nice to me."

"Uh...," Loke looked at Natsu. Natsu wouldn't look at anyone, he was hiding some secret pain. Loke squinted at Natsu for a minute, studying him. Loke hated that there were still secrets between them, but he couldn't really do anything about it but wait, at least for now.

"Good for you, I don't care," Natsu snarled his response to Happy. Everyone, except Happy, was surprised. Happy looked hurt as he tried to fight back tears. Loke turned on Natsu, slamming him into the wall.

In a voice dangerously quiet, he spoke straight into Natsu's ear, so that he alone, would hear Loke, "If you do not stop being so damn hurtful to our Lady's friends, I swear I will tease you, right here in front of everyone, until you're so damn hard, you're ready to toss down Mira, and have your way with her, just to keep it from splitting in two."

Natsu gasped softly, already blushing from the way Loke was whispering to him, "I didn't know she was even here." No one else heard him as he spoke just as softly. A technique they had perfected before Natsu was even out of the hospital.

"You're losing your touch, Puff. Of course, you could always frolic with Erza, instead," Loke teased quietly, "Or are you going to behave now?" Natsu squeezed his eyes shut against the mental images, and nodded, gulping. As Loke started to step away, Natsu tried to push him, but Loke felt it coming. He seized Natsu's biceps, and pinned him to the wall once more.

"Natsu," Loke growled loudly, glaring at him, "If you pull your stitches again, I will _beat_ you all the way to the hospital. Now play nicely with the others," Loke finished with a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and a smirk on his lips.

"Again? I didn't know it happened at all!" Mira piped up, suddenly worried. Just as Loke had said, there she was off to one side of Erza.

Loke smiled sadly, and nodded, "I'm afraid, I allowed him to get a little too, um, worked up, while cleaning up the rose garden. No real harm done, though. He's healing quickly, all things considered, my dear Mira. Please come in, and take a seat."

"Oh, Um, Thank you," Mira replied with an uncertain smile.

Turning his attention to Happy once more, Loke continued as though there hadn't been an interruption, "I'm pretty sure we have at least a can of tuna. Would you like a tuna fish sandwich?"

"Aye!" Happy chimed brightly. He hadn't had a tuna fish sandwich in a long time.

Loke dragged Natsu to the kitchen with him, leaving the others to close the door. As it turned out they did have tuna. The two men finished making lunch quickly, then added several more settings to the table to compensate for their guests. Natsu revealed the secret about Happy he'd been keeping while they worked. Loke understood all that was left unsaid between the two friends. Natsu was pushing Happy away to protect the cat from himself. Loke had a better idea.

They were sitting at the dining room table in an awkward silence. Happy watched everyone as he munched his sandwich quietly. Everyone wanted to ask about the extra plate of food, but decided to wait and see what Loke and Natsu did with it, first.

"Tell me, Loke," Makarov began, breaking the stillness, "How are you feeling these days?"

Loke had a mouth full of food, at the moment, and looked at Makarov like he didn't understand the question.

Natsu stepped in, "What do you mean, old man? He ain't hurt or sick or nothin'."

Makarov looked thoughtful for a moment as he chewed the ravioli in his mouth. It was very good, and tasted homemade. He swallowed, "Well, how long has it been now since the last time you were in the spirit world? Almost three months, if I don't miss my guess. You look healthy enough, but then you never looked troubled by it before either. It makes me wonder, how you are holding up?"

"I'm perfectly fine, Master. I appreciate your concern, but even running solo missions before, I went years without problems. A few months is nothing. I'm surprised you'd even worry over such trifles," Loke smiled, brushing off the implications.

"Trifles, you say?" Makarov returned, unsatisfied. He would not be so easily put off this scent, "How long do you intend to wait, then? Hmm? How long do you think it takes to train to the level of skill required? Or are you hoping that a kind hearted mage will waltz in, and take pity on your mutual plight? Lucy-_sama_ was rare in far more ways than one, as far as her abilities as a key holder were concerned. If you think that cross over training for such a vastly different form will happen over night, you are gravely mistaken. What's worse is that your miscalculation on this matter could put all of Magnolia, not merely Fairy Tail, in very real danger."

Loke was beginning to change colors as he kept his eyes on his plate, continuing to eat in stony silence. Everyone else was looking back, and forth between the stellar spirit, and guild master.

"I don't get it," Natsu stated flatly, "What are you talkin' about, old man?"

Makarov didn't answer. Loke was still eating. Natsu was getting huffy. Mira, Erza, and Happy were staring in silence. There was a very dangerous battle of wills going on, and the only one foolish enough to tempt triggering the explosion was Natsu.

Makarov shifted patiently in his seat. This could take a week. After all he was trying to out wait an immortal being. You didn't survive eons without going insane unless you were a master in the patience department. Natsu was of course the first to give.

"What the hell aren't you telling me!" Natsu snapped, turning on the Lion Spirit.

'Ah, Natsu, I knew I could count on that short fuse of yours.' Makarov thought smugly to himself.

Loke was crimson with anger. His grip on his fork began to warp the metal. Erza and Mira held their breath, uncertain of what might happen next.

"Aye! I love the sandwiches! They're great! Not too wet, not too dry! Very yummy fish! Thank you! I missed your great sandwiches, Natsu!" Happy announced cheerfully, then shoved half a sandwich into his mouth, and chewed contentedly.

There was a collective, "Uhhh..." followed by a series of giggles, and chuckles. Happy had broken the tension, and Makarov mentally groaned.

"He was not talking to you, Happy!" Makarov snapped, glaring at the blue feline. He was irritated at his game being foiled by the oblivious, fish loving cat that he had brought with him. Happy started to tear up at the master's harsh tone.

"Hey! Don't talk to my Happy like that!" Natsu shot heatedly, "He's just being polite like he was taught. I'm glad you like them, Happy. I made them just like she used to. You can come over for more whenever you like," Natsu soothed, while glaring at Makarov.

"Aye? Really? You mean it, Natsu? I-I can... come back, back home?" Happy asked, his big eyes wide with tears of hope.

"Of course, you can! You, you don't have to if you don't want to, but...you know...we're... Nakama...we're family, Happy. I-I know I...," Natsu swallowed hard against the guilt that was rising up in his throat at the memories, of how he had treated his best friend after loosing Lucy, began to flood back, "I treated you pretty badly, well, _really_ badly. I-I shouldn't have done that stuff. I'm, I'm s-s-sorry, Happy."

Natsu looked at his lap trying to fight back tears. He didn't expect to be forgiven. He didn't deserve it. Happy had left a week after Natsu had started throwing things at him. More than once, he hit him, hard. Gray had come, and taken Happy away. Happy didn't come back. He stayed with Gray. Natsu didn't blame him for leaving, he should have left sooner, before it went that far. Happy had a slight limp to one leg from it that would never go away, and his tail had a permanent crook near the end, where it had been broken. Natsu had scarred the feline for life. He hated himself for it.

"Aye! I'd really like that! _I MISS YOU_!" Happy wailed, then jumped over Erza, and leaped into Natsu's arms.

Loke smiled as Natsu, and Happy hugged, crying. He reached over, and rubbed Happy's big, fuzzy head. Loke glanced around the table, even Makarov was smiling with glistening eyes.

"Humph," Makarov intoned after a moment, "It's about damn time, Natsu. I expect things to stay safe for Happy. You step out of line like that with Happy again, and I'll punish you with _that_. Do I make myself clear." There was a collective gasp at the mention of _that_. Natsu nodded vigorously.

"Now then," Makarov sniffed, "Back to the other topic at hand, Loke. I'm still waiting for an answer."

Loke glared death to the far end of the table where Makarov was sitting, "We will talk of such things when the time comes," he growled softly.

"We will talk of it here, and now!" Makarov shouted, slamming both fists onto the table top, making both, the people, and the dishes alike, jump.

"Leave it alone, _Master Makarov_. This is neither the time nor place," Loke snarled in return, more dangerously than any of them had ever seen him be towards the guild master. Makarov watched the other closely for a long moment. The snarl that had twisted Loke's features did not fade.

"I see... Very well, you have until tomorrow to give me an answer. If you require assistance, I will help where I can. But I warn you, this is a dangerous game you play. One wrong step, and you'll loose both the prey, and the pride in the process," Makarov calmed as he sat back. As he had thought, the Lion Spirit was backed into a corner on this, and would attack if not given the room to pace. Loke had not yet broached the subject with Natsu. Makarov wondered if perhaps the reason was Natsu's health or if it was that Loke felt that Natsu was not yet stable enough emotionally, for the topic to be brought up. Whatever the case, he would not risk tipping this delicate balance just yet.

Loke sighed disconsolately, and looked away.

"I've already lost the pride," Loke growled, his voice thick.

Makarov snorted, "You lost the Alpha, the rest are still here. After suffering for three years, I would expect _you_, of all people, to be able to not only see, but also _feel_ the difference."

Loke looked back at him in surprise. His eyes bright with unshed tears. They were all staring at him, with varying levels of concern and understanding. Loke hung his head as a deep sob racked his tense body. Natsu placed Happy on the table, and slid his chair to Loke's side. He pulled the other man into his arms. Loke wrapped him in a hug as he allowed himself to cry. Natsu whispered in their secret way to him. He didn't understand what the riddles that they had been using meant, but he had understood that the guild master had said something about not being alone. He promised he'd try to understand if Loke would explain it all to him later. Loke simply nodded.

Happy had climbed back onto Natsu as he was talking, and sat on Natsu's head, staring in wonder at the two below him.

"Wow! Natsu, that's so cool! Do you two always talk so soft like that? I can't even hear you! That's amazing! How did you learn to do that?!" Happy asked excitedly, after the almost silent conversation was over.

Natsu sighed, uncertain of how to answer, he finally said, "There's a lot that we can only tell each other. Things that are too painful to say out loud. We can't keep them inside, but we can't stand to hear them spoken either. So we learned how to tell each other those things. We still don't have to say them out loud, but they aren't trapped inside any more either. It's just...," Nastu spoke slowly, struggling to find the right words.

"It's easier. It doesn't hurt as much like that. Some of the things we need to hear, we can't accept, no matter how loud you scream it. But you have to work so hard to hear the whisper, that you can't reject what comes across, loud and clear, in all that silence. It's...It's how...how we help each other. It's how we reach each other. Even when it hurts so much, all you want is to die. We learned it from Princess. She was just as loud as anyone else when things were fine, but when they weren't, she got real quiet. No matter how much noise was around, everyone heard her silence. It was deafening. It's strange. Even now, even from the grave, she is still saving us. Princess is still saving Loke, and me," Natsu explained, as best he could.

They all thought he did a damn good job of it.

"I couldn't have put it more eloquently, Puff," Loke purred as he raised his head, and smiled sadly up at Natsu.

"Sometimes, I just get it right, Kitten. Can you breathe again?" Natsu offered. Loke nodded.

"Uh...Puff?" Mira asked, shocked.

"Kitten?" Erza questioned, equally stunned.

"Are you two dating?" Happy asked.

Loke and Natsu went sheet white at Happy's question, "Gah! No!" They shouted at the same time.

"Then why'd you kiss each other before?" Happy pressed.

Loke laughed, grinning at the cat still sitting on Natsu's head. Natsu removed Happy carefully, and returned him to his lap with a sigh, "That's even harder to explain."

"There are somethings that just can't be put into words. Things that there is no other way to express. I know it's probably disturbing, but sometimes, one of us needs to connect like that with the other. Sometimes that's the only way to ease the pain inside. You see me kiss him. You don't see who I see that I'm kissing though. I'm not kissing Puff. I'm kissing my Princess. I'm just kissing her through him," Loke saved Natsu the headache of putting it all into words.

Natsu was grateful. Mira nodded. She understood exactly what Loke was saying. There were some wounds that ran so deep that only an equally deep contact could ease the pain. For Natsu and Loke, sometimes the whisper wasn't enough. The emotional connection of a lover's kiss, however, was. It was mending a broken heart by literally kissing the boo boo to make it feel better.

"Interesting," Makarov commented. He remained silent as he thought over what had been said. Perhaps they were more stable than he had thought. All though being crazy didn't make you stupid, it was surprisingly intricate logic, with both depth and understanding. It was wisdom in action. The psychology was undeniably sound. They were curing the side effects in order to be able to deal with the cause in a more emotionally gentle method. In was intensive group therapy. The group was just extremely small. It was brilliant.

"And...what's with calling each other "Puff" and "Kitten"?" Erza asked.

"Well, we realized that Princess wouldn't want us calling each other "Stupid Dragon" or "Fucking Lion" and we would rather not use each other's real names, s-" Loke began.

"Mostly 'cause we still don't like each other much," Natsu interrupted.

"There's that!" Loke laughed, "So we use less insulting, pet names. We only use real names when we're angry with the other. It grows on you after a while actually. He's Puff the Magic Dragon, Puff for short."

"And he's Kitten, 'cause lions are just over sized cats anyway, and I think he's still soft in the head, so he's a baby cat," Natsu finished, grinning.

Loke glared at him for a moment, but said nothing. He wondered if Natsu had ever heard the story of Puff the Magic Dragon. It was fitting for them both. He thought that Natsu would probably be insulted by it though. At least on some level, Loke kind of hoped he would be.

None of the others pointed out how lovingly either of them had spoken those pet names. Using them as one would expect of a lover, not an unwanted partner. Even Happy kept quiet on the matter, letting it drop. Conversation turned to other topics. Loke insisted that Natsu eat more.

"After all, who's ever heard of a scrawny dragon, Puff? You're bordering on: stick figure drawn with a fat marker," Loke had teased as he exchanged Natsu's plate for the fully loaded plate in front of the empty chair, then did the same with the drink. Everyone laughed, but sadly agreed with the Lion's description.

"Why not just put more food on the same plate?" Happy asked.

"Because we agreed that Puff would eat everything I could fit on two plates. So I use two plates when I serve the food. I keep extra silverware at the table because Puff is a bit clumsy when his arms are hurting. This way I don't have to go to the kitchen if he drops his fork, or to reload his plate. It's just easier this way. It gives us a few more dishes, but that doesn't take as long as running back, and forth would," Loke explained.

"Well that's a good way to handle it," Mira smiled brightly.

"I thought so," Loke beamed.

The guests were relieved by his explanation. It was a much more logical, and less mentally disturbed occurrence than they had feared. They began talking about various things afterward. The atmosphere much lighter than when they had arrived.

After the lunch was finished, Mira helped clear the table. There were at least four times that, without noticing, Natsu let go of Loke. Loke noticed, but said nothing. He had been slowly trying to ease Natsu into standing on his own again. Natsu was still recovering from the months of sleep deprivation, and weight loss from not eating enough. The recent boughts of blood loss had definitely not helped. As Natsu became physically stronger, Loke was quietly, gently nudging him to become emotionally stronger. In small ways it was working. It was a slow process, but necessary.

As insane as he had seemed that day in the hospital, Loke was actually rather good at psychology. He'd been coping with the deaths of humans for far longer than any of the Fairy Tail Guild members had been alive. Even their combined life spans paled, horribly in comparison to how long The Lion Spirit had been hanging around. He knew he would never forget Lucy. He would never fully recover from her loss. He also knew that he would have to find his way back to life without her, or Natsu, or any mortal. He needed this time to grieve her fully, without interruption. He needed Natsu to get stable, and strong. Already, Loke was worried that they were all too quickly running out of time. Apparently, so did Master Makarov.


	6. All Too Soon

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: some innuendo and ideas or suggestive statements of explicit stuff. I would guess a rating of T. As Always PLEASE be sure to view "_Lucy_" by _xOxLxIxVxEx_ as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to _xOxLxIxVxEx_ for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _End Note}_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 6

All Too Soon

Happy remained after the others left. Happy stayed the night. He was thrilled to be with Natsu again. It felt much like it had before. The next day, went well. The three worked in the garden together. Natsu didn't raise his voice at Happy, even when Happy did something the wrong way. Happy was very happy again. After lunch, Happy decided to risk telling Natsu about his idea.

"Natsu?" Happy began in the comfortable silence that often surrounded the three of them following a meal, "I have an idea, but I don't want you to get mad if you don't like it," Happy looked at Natsu hopefully. He was still afraid of the dragon slayer. He didn't want to upset him.

"I won't hurt you, Happy, I promise. Besides, Kitten is here. He wouldn't let anything happen to you," Natsu responded gently. He understood why Happy had said that, and it hurt. There was nothing he could do to change it. It would take time to heal the rift between him and the blue cat. He couldn't expect Happy to blindly trust him again.

"Aye!" Happy smiled, "What do you guys think about...a fish pond?! Right next to the big tree in the back yard? We could put in Trout, and maybe some Grouper, or even a few Carp. The tree would give us a nice shady spot for fishing too!" Happy talked faster, and faster as he became more excited about the idea.

Natsu and Loke laughed. Leave it to Happy to want to talk fish.

"Well, There's enough room for one, I think," Natsu said thoughtfully. He scratched the back of his head. He was trying to figure out the mathematics in his head. He was actually very good with mathematics. On the battlefield, geometry, trigonometry, calculus, algebra, all of them ran through his head in seconds when he was fighting. The equations writing themselves based on what he could see, and his mind calculated the solutions just as fast as they could be presented. Lucy had taught him how to understand that gibberish on paper, and solve it like he was in a fight. He had uncanny spatial knowledge skills, as well. Makarov had said something about a mathematical genius. Then blabbed on for a while about that explaining Natsu's behavior. He hadn't understood most of that conversation, only that Makarov was impressed with his math skills, and liked to invite people to come watch Natsu solve stuff.

Loke, and Happy waited in silence. They were fully aware that Natsu was calculating the logistics in his head. He would know in a few minutes if it was both possible, and safe. If it would have an unwanted effect on something he'd know before he even answered.

Natsu frowned, "Hmm...," he mumbled something. Then he dragged Loke through the house absent mindedly, to stare out of one of the windows. Natsu let go of what he was holding, and scratched his head in deep thought, his other hand holding his chin. After a few minutes, he reached over, and took Loke's hand again, still unaware that for the last five minutes, they hadn't been touching.

Loke smiled to himself. Natsu was healing. He was facing the deep wounds of his heart one day at a time, and those wounds were healing more rapidly with each passing day.

Finally Natsu came out of the deep thought process. He looked at Happy, and grinned, "Yeah, we could. We could even have a little dock, and a row boat. We could run it from the big tree out to over by the gazebo. Put a little bridge on the gazebo end, it'll be really pretty. She would have loved it. It's a great idea, Happy. Maybe we can get Juvia, and Gray to come over, and help fill it with water once we get it dug."

"Aye!" Happy shouted.

"What do you think, Kitten?" Natsu asked Loke, suddenly.

"I agree. A pond would be good if we are going to plant that weeping willow, like we talked about. They need a lot of water. It'll be good for the cherry tree too," Loke responded with a smile.

"Aye!" Happy chimed again. He was very pleased with himself.

The trio went outside, after Loke grabbed a sketch pad, and his drawing pencils. As it turned out they had already begun mapping the property in order to plan out different things that they were going to do and where. The was no gazebo yet. The only tree was the big tree that Happy had talked about.

Natsu had run the calculations based on what they had already planned to do. Not on what was currently there. He walked them through what he had worked out. Loke sketched in the details of the pond when Natsu stopped to explain, or point something out.

Happy was accustomed to seeing the two together, but he was surprised at how well they understood each other already. Natsu knew just when to stop, and just when to start walking again. Loke could tell when Natsu was going to turn one way, or another. They just knew without looking, without speaking. They could move as one. It made Happy a little sad. He used to be that close to Natsu. Maybe they could be that close again. Happy had hope.

It was nearing nightfall, when Loke sighed heavily, and looked at Natsu. Natsu turned to him with a slightly frightened expression.

"You need to go some where, don't you," Natsu said, in a quiet voice.

Loke nodded, his lips pressed into a tight thin line.

"Without me," Natsu spoke again.

Loke nodded. His concern was clear in his green shining eyes. Natsu was shaking at the thought. He didn't want to be alone. It scared him. Alone, all he could think of was watching Lucy die.

Loke turned to Happy and spoke quietly. His voice pleading, "Happy, I know there is a lot of pain between you, so I won't ask you to stay with Puff all alone. I think it's too soon for that. Can you go find Erza? Ask her to come. I know how much she cares about Puff. I think Erza can hold Puff while I'm gone. I think that if you two work together, it'll be okay until I get back."

Natsu nodded, as he threw his arms around Loke. He was shaking violently. The prospect of the other not being with him, was frightening. Natsu was still emotionally fragile. He was healing, but he was easily shattered.

"Aye!" Happy shouted, "I'll bring Erza. We'll stay with Natsu. We can help him not feel alone! I want to help Natsu like you, Loke! I wish I was a bigger cat. Maybe I need to eat more fish!"

Happy was excited that he could help at all. Natsu smiled at Happy, blinking away the tears brimming in his eyes.

"Thanks, Happy," Natsu offered quietly.

"Aye!" Happy shouted, "Be back in a jiffy!"

Happy jumped into the air, and took off. He circled the room until Loke, and Natsu opened the front door for him. Then he was gone.

"I'm sorry, Puff," Loke told Natsu after the door was closed, "I don't want to, but I have no choice."

"It's about what the old man was talkin' about yesterday, isn't it?" It wasn't a question because Natsu already knew the answer. Loke nodded.

"I'll explain when you're ready, Puff. This is one of those things that your heart isn't able to handle. It's still in too many pieces. I'll tell you, as soon as you're strong enough. I promise," Loke told him gently. He tenderly held Natsu's chin in his fingers as he spoke. Natsu didn't try to hold back the tears that ran slowly down his face.

"You know I hurt Erza. You saw the scars on her face. Maybe you should have sent for Mira," Natsu managed.

"I don't want to drag that gentle creature into this. I'd sooner send for Gray, and he's probably still recovering from shock. They've had reports from Happy after all. I bet Gray is currently suffering from the belief that we might be lovers, Puff," Loke told him, smiling as he finished.

"Why would he think that?" Natsu asked horrified.

"Happy did ask if we were dating, Puff. I noticed that no one seemed surprised when Happy asked why we kissed. They already had that information. That explains why Gray isn't here. He cares enough about you to be in this ring. The only reason he would be left out of coming to see us, is if he took Happy's report badly. They want to help, but not at the risk of spreading the problem, or making it worse.  
I imagine, Gray probably isn't okay with the idea that he has shared a tent, slept in the same room, even in the same bed with us, well namely you, so many times, and he never knew that we might play that way. Can you imagine what the rest of the guild would say if that idea got out? I bet Gray can imagine all too well," Loke explained. Natsu listened quietly. He understood from both, his view, and everyone else's. To anyone other than Loke and Natsu, Gray had good reason to be upset.

In the most basic physical sense they _had_, and probably would again, become lovers. To them, it wasn't like that at all. They didn't love each other. At points in time it was the exact opposite. They were not attracted to each other in the slightest. They weren't connecting to each other, when their relationship became physical, they were using each other to connect to Lucy, if only in memory. It felt like more than memory though, it was like she was really there. Loke had considered that these points in time were them actually dancing on the fine line between healing, and slipping into permanent insanity.

That thought had never occurred to Natsu. When they separated, they continued on like nothing had happened between them, beyond that the jagged edges of their hearts didn't feel as sharp. It was true that they both found it amusing to tease each other, usually mercilessly. Often leaving the other fuming, while laughing at the other's frustration. They used it as a way to fight.

They had stopped going to the guild because being around women only made the problem worse. There were too many opportunities to fill the other's head with explicit thoughts of people they knew, but had never wanted in that way. What was worse were the people that they had wanted in that way, at one time, or another. It was the hardest on Loke at the guild, because before meeting Lucy, he had considered all of the women there at some point. He had quickly given up the ones that were clearly taken, even if they wouldn't admit it. There were plenty that weren't though.

Natsu sighed, "How long will you be gone, Kitten?" he asked softly.

"I'm... not sure," Loke hesitated to answer, but continued on quickly, "I'll keep it as short as possible, though, Puff." Loke hugged Natsu to him.

Natsu was trembling. He kept telling himself he could do this, that it would be okay. Deep down he wasn't really sure if he was lying to himself or not. He knew the only way Loke would go, was if it was direly important. Even then, that he couldn't take Natsu with to deal with it, meant it was something that Loke knew would impact Natsu enough that Loke feared for Natsu's life if he learned it right now. Natsu accepted that there were things that he just couldn't face yet. A lesson that had resulted in him pulling his stitches the last time.

Loke held Natsu for a long time in silence. They didn't move, or speak further. They just stood there, hugging.

There was a firm, loud knock on the door. It made them both jump because they were still standing just behind it. They laughed softly at the look on each other's face. Loke pulled the door open.

Erza stood holding a tired looking Happy. She smiled warmly at her two friends.

"Happy said you need me?" Erza stated. She was relieved to see Natsu looked okay. A little distressed but stable.

"Come in, Erza, please," Loke smiled.

She stepped through the door, and waited to one side of the entry. Loke turned to her, holding Natsu's hand firmly. He was a little surprised. She wasn't wearing her armor. She was wearing a figure hugging, blue dress that stopped at the knee. It tied behind her neck, leaving her shoulders and upper back exposed. She wore simple, but elegant black pumps. He was almost certain she was wearing make up. His breathe caught as a thought occurred to him.

"Erza, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had a date," Loke started.

"Oh, no. I just went to a movie with Mira and Levy. They dared me to dress up at least until midnight. We all have to dress differently than we normally would for the night. It's...it's just to give us a change of pace. Try something new," Erza explained quickly.

"Oh, that's a good idea," Loke offered, smiling, "Um, well, I need to go speak with Makarov. I-I ...um... Puff can't come with me. I was hoping that maybe you could stay, er help Happy stay with him until I get back. I didn't want to over burden Happy. He's not familiar with the house, and Puff can say some pretty nasty things when he's upset."

"Oh! Of course. I'll send Happy to get you, if we have any real problems. I would like to spend time with him any way," Erza blushed suddenly, "I mean, um, we haven't really seen each other, or spoken in several weeks now. I'm starting to feel like the only redhead in the guild, without you two around. It's, it's a little lonely," she finished quietly, not looking at either of them.

Loke reached over, and gently squeezed her shoulder. He smiled when she looked up at him.

"We'll be back before you know it. We just need some time away from all the memories that are still lingering in those walls," Loke purred sadly. Erza nodded, and smiled. There were tears brimming on her lashes. She understood all too well.

Loke took her hand, waiting for her to shift Happy to one arm. Loke put Erza's hand in Natsu's hand. He moved around Natsu careful not to stop touching him just yet. Once he stood between Natsu, and the door he looked Natsu squarely in the eyes.

Natsu held his gaze for a long moment.

Finally Loke spoke, "Puff, I will be back as soon as I possibly can. Erza will be here with you. She will not leave you alone. Erza is going to hold you for me for our Princess. Be nice, Puff. Happy is here. They both love you enough to try. They care. They care about you. Don't hurt them for it, Puff. Don't push them away. I'll be back, I promise. Are you ready?"

Natsu was trembling. Erza had her lips pressed together in a tight line, squeezing her eyes shut. Natsu wasn't letting go of her. No, in point of fact, anyone else would have been on the floor, groveling to be released. He had clamped down on her hand with a white knuckled death grip. Erza held on refusing to let her grip fail in the slightest. Natsu sniffed heavily, fighting back tears. His grip letting up as he did so. Erza relaxed as the pain subsided.

"Okay," Natsu finally managed, "I'm ready, go."

Loke nodded firmly. He took a deep breath, blinked, and threw his arms around Natsu, planting a very firm lip lock on the dragon slayer. Natsu responded without hesitation. As the kiss dragged on Natsu didn't, for even the briefest moment, let go of Erza's hand. When they released each other, Natsu turned away. A heartbeat later, Loke slipped through the door, and was gone.

Loke rushed out the door, and hurried to the guild. He wanted to keep this as brief as possible. He hadn't planned on leaving Natsu alone so soon. It was all too soon, in his mind. Natsu was making good progress, but Loke was worried about how easily he could be set back. He sincerely hoped that Natsu wouldn't become violent. Erza was the only other person besides Makarov, and himself that he felt could stand up to Natsu if he fell apart. Granted the last time left her with several scars, but she had survived, and in one piece to boot.

Loke had a long walk to the guild. The cottage was on the very edge of the outskirts of town, set back among the trees. There was only one spot anywhere on the property that allowed a view of Magnolia. That's where they were going to build the gazebo. As beautiful as the place was, it was not close to the guild.

After a brisk twenty minute walk, Loke was standing in front of the huge double doors. Everyone turned when he entered. Concerned whispers, and looks passed among the members that were there. It wasn't that it was Loke. It was that he was alone. Where was Natsu? Had something happened? Loke brushed off the questions that no one had actually asked him, and walked quickly to the bar. Elfman was serving the drinks. Mira was out with Levy still.

"Where's Makarov?" Loke asked, since he didn't see the guild master.

"Uh...I think he's upstairs in his office. Anything wrong?" Elfman replied, after a moment of careful consideration.

"No, just needed to speak with Makarov in private. Natsu's fine, don't worry," Loke tried to smile but failed. He couldn't seem to make his lips turn up at the corners when he was here.

She was everywhere in here. There was the table her team always sat at. There was her favorite seat at the bar. There was that spot over there near the stage where they had danced at a party together. The request board that she was always scrutinizing. Lucy was everywhere. He fought down the tears that sprang to his eyes, and the need to rush home to be comforted. He was supposed to be the strong half of the duo, guiding Natsu back from the darkness he was lost in. He couldn't let his light dim now. This trip had to be worth it. He wouldn't have another chance.

Loke straightened, and marched to the stairs. He took them two at a time. He turned sharply when he reached the top, and looked back around the guild, and the second floor. Makarov was no where to be seen. The guild master's office was the only logical place left, other than the bathroom. Loke refused to join him in _there_. If the guild master wasn't in his office, Loke would have no choice but to wait.

He knocked loudly on the office door, then opened it without waiting to be called.

"Master Makarov?" he asked as he poked his head in.

Sure enough, there was Makarov sitting on his desk. Gray Fullbuster was seated in a chair more, or less in front of the guild master. Gray turned sheet white when he saw Loke. He swallowed hard, and looked back at the wizened old man.

"Ah, Loke, I was expecting you. Come in. Maybe you can help me explain things to Gray. I was just going to, um..." Makarov trailed off as he realized he hadn't actually _told_ Loke yet that he, and Natsu were under watch.

"Wow, I thought you would have done that hours ago. I already figured out that you five have been watching us, probably since I went to see Puff in the hospital," Loke stated as he entered, closing the door behind himself. He crossed the room to the other chair, and seated himself.

"We aren't lovers, Gray," Loke said simply after he was settled.

"I, uh, um...it, just there was, we, Happy, kiss, bam, fish, guild, find out, say, think, we, bad, bad, very bad" Gray stammered. Gray was fighting his rising nausea. So far he was winning.

"Hmm, I think you've broken him, Loke. He was talking just fine before you came in," Makarov teased with a smile.

"I know, Gray, and yes, from Happy's point of view, that is what it looked like. Natsu wasn't kissing me, Gray. Look, I'm going to show you something. It will help me explain this better, if you see this first," Loke replied smoothly.

"O-okay," Gray managed with a nod.

Loke stood, and stepped around the desk. He leaned forward so that his lips were right beside Makarov's ear. Loke didn't hide his face with his hand though. He wanted Gray to have a clear view of what he was about to do. Gray in turn watched with about the most terrified expression he could manage as his curiosity was peaked.

Loke took a deep breath, and looked at the door across the room.

"Nod if you can hear me," Loke whispered, just as he did with Natsu.

Makarov nodded, "Happy was right! That is amazing, it's almost like I'm not hearing the words, it's like I'm hearing your thoughts!"

"Tell him your going to translate everything I'm telling you to him," Loke continued.

"I'm going to translate everything he tells me to you, Gray," Makarov stated. After a pause he continued. Gray sat unmoving, fascinated at what he was seeing, but listening fully to every word, and every silence.

"When Natsu was in the hospital, he was so far down the road to insanity that there was very little that Loke could do to help him," Makarov continued, "Natsu has been lost for a long time now in his own mind, hopeless, hurting, alone. There were choices that Loke had to make if Loke was going to save him. Loke realizes now that he was, in his own way, just as broken in his thinking as Natsu. Loke had planned to simply fade away from the human world," Makarov's eyebrows shot up at that revelation but he continued without comment, "This would have upset his Beloved. She had nearly died to save him from that fate. Allowing that to become his fate once more would be dishonoring her memory. Natsu was precious to his Lady, as was her guild, her team, her Nakama. Loke chose to save Natsu from himself.

The only way to reach Natsu, was to join Natsu. Natsu has hope now. Loke is Natsu's hope until Natsu can find his own hope. Loke will help Natsu heal, which will in turn heal the team, and bring the Nakama back together. There are a great many things that Natsu, and Loke can not hear, or can not say. Those things can not remain unheard, or unspoken. Their Lady showed them the way to be heard when it mattered the most. A whisper can over come the mightiest roar. The silence can carry more power than the loudest thunderclap. Most of the time Natsu, and Loke whisper when the pain rises up, and becomes more than they can bear, but sometimes, the whisper can not reach deep enough.

Only their Lady's touch can smooth the jagged edges of the their heart's pain. At those times, they kiss her through each other. They do not see the person in front of them, they see the person that they lost, their greatest love, their Lady. Loke promises you, Gray, on every memory of his Lady that he possesses that he has never, nor will ever desire any man in that way ever," Makarov stopped. He nodded. Loke returned to his seat.

Makarov cleared his throat, "Natsu, and Loke no longer use the vulgar terms for each other that they used to. Loke refers to Natsu as Puff short for Puff the Magic Dragon,"

"Oh, That's rich! I wish I had thought of that back in the day, hothead woulda hated that!" Gray interrupted suddenly.

"Ahem! I doubt it seeing as he doesn't seem to understand the reference. Natsu now refers to Loke as Kitten, as he thinks Loke is little more than an over grown cat that's still "soft in the head". They use each others proper names when they are angry. Happy has returned to live with Nastu. Loke will make sure that Happy is taken care of, and safe," Makarov finished.

"Where is hothead, and Happy right now?" Gray asked, suddenly aware that he didn't see either.

"At home. Erza is with them. I need to speak with Makarov, I don't care if you hear this, or not so long as you don't repeat it to anyone else until I tell you it's okay," Loke answered. Quickly looking to shift the topic to the reason he was there, "I don't wish to remain away from Puff for too long. He's still very fragile emotionally. That's why I haven't spoken to him about this yet. I no longer intend to remain until I fade away. Princess would have wanted me to live. Just like before. I do intend to cross train Puff, or Erza. I would like to work with both. It will give us more leeway if it takes too long for Puff to pick up the intricacies of calling Spirits.

It is one of the single most difficult forms of magic there is. Erza understands how to see along similar lines, but exquipping is far more simple, and requires less power, because you're not trying to reach across the barrier between the different planes of existence, when you reach for that far away space. The greatest hurtle will be acquiring some Silver, and Gold Keys with which to train them both. They can't share, that's not fair to the Spirit. If I had my choice as to what Zodiac keys we used those would be: Aries, Cancer, Sagittarius, Virgo, and/or Taurus. Silver Key Spirits should be easy enough to handle so long as they don't have extremely limited days to work with or bad attitudes. Attitudes I can handle though."

Makarov was silent for a long time. Loke fidgeted as he waited. He wanted this to move faster.

"Why are you wanting to cross train anyone anyway?" Gray asked as the time dragged on.

"Because I can't stay forever. I have to go back in a few years at the latest. I won't be able to return if I don't cross train someone. How do you think Puff will react if that happens?" Loke explained, trying to keep his voice level and sound more calm than he was feeling.

"You've always just shown up whenever you pleased. Why can't you do that now?" Gray wondered.

"It was Princess. She was unbelievably powerful. We were so strongly connected, that I could slip back and forth between the worlds with very little trouble. She was strong enough to summon on pure emotion, even in her sleep. More than once I woke up beside her, because she had had a nightmare. She mastered summoning Zodiac Spirits when she was only fourteen. Forced closures at sixteen, dual callings by eighteen, triples, and repetitives by twenty. Forced closure is something that many Stellar Spirit mages never learn how to do, especially with a Zodiac Spirit. Karen couldn't use forced closure on me. She could with most of the others, but Karen was years older than Princess by the time she learned how to force close a gate, and she certainly hadn't mastered it either. The last time I forced open my gate, was one of the hardest times I've ever had. A Spirit has to have the power of a Stellar Spirit mage on this side to connect to. Without their magic to guide you, you could easily get lost in the limbo between the different worlds and planes of existence."

"I-I didn't realize Lucy-sama was that powerful," Gray confessed after a moment.

"If she had cross trained with other forms, she would easily have become the strongest member of the team, possibly the strongest in the guild. Even though she always felt like she was the weakest link, she was integratel. Her death made that poignantly clear," Loke responded quietly.

"Lucy-sama was the heart of our team," Gray agreed sadly, "Erza was the backbone, Natsu the right hand, I was the left hand, and Happy was probably the stomach. Always wanting fish. Hahaha."

Loke smiled sadly, Gray saw it pretty much the way that he, himself, did.

"How is it you can stay without being, um, connected to a mage's power?" Gray queried.

"Once here, I can remain on my own. That I know of, I'm the only Stellar Spirit that can do that. Any other Spirit would have been drawn back to the Spirit World as soon as she..., as soon as the bond was gone," Loke said quietly.

Makarov shifted suddenly, bringing the attention back to him.

"Ahem, I think you have a decent view of the situation, Loke. How much longer do you imagine, before Natsu will be ready to begin training?" Makarov asked.

"I'm not sure. I can't talk to him about the reason behind it. I can't ask him to start training without being able to tell him why. Erza, however, could probably start tomorrow, provided that she is willing, and we have a key for her to train with," Loke returned.

"Very well, I will see about getting some keys together. That task alone could take more time than we might like, but I'll put it to a few people in the guild that will keep quiet about it. Hopefully they will be able to locate a few within the next couple of months. I have one last question for you, Loke," Makarov spoke calmly, not feeling Loke's urgency to wrap things up quickly.

"What is that?" Loke asked, as he started to rise from his seat.

"Where is _your_ key?" Makarov asked, eying the Lion Spirit as he spoke each word slowly, and clearly.

Loke was standing at the door. He stiffened at the question. He glared back over his shoulder at the old guild master that was still sitting on the desk.

"With her," Loke retorted sourly. He opened the door, and was gone.

Makarov glowered at the space that Loke had just vacated. He had expected the question to hit a nerve, but Loke had fallen almost into as dangerous a stance as he had held the day before at the lunch table.

Makarov had suspected that perhaps the Lion's key had been buried with Lucy, but having that confirmed, disturbed him greatly. All hell would break loose, if Makarov ordered Lucy's body exhumed so that her remains could be, in essence, looted. He was quickly disliking the position that Loke had put him in. What was worse was that Makarov knew that the Spirit had done so wittingly. The Lion was far more clever, crafty, and wise, than Makarov had given him credit for, when suffering the sudden, unexpected loss of his most beloved key holder. He suddenly feared that perhaps nothing that they did would allow this mess to end well.

Loke was in a rush to get back. He had been gone nearly three, and a half hours now, and he still had the walk back to the cottage ahead of him. Happy hadn't come though, so things shouldn't be too bad.

He found Happy on the couch asleep when he came in.


	7. More Than Fish

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: very suggestive ideas/themes bordering on smutty. I'm guessing a rating of M just to be safe. This is a SHORT chapter, I know. Deal with it. Lol As Always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 7

More Than Fish

Erza stared at the door, somehow wishing that Loke wasn't serious about leaving Natsu so upset. Natsu sobbed so hard that she expected him to hit the floor. It was a wonder to her that he remained upright. She felt a deep pang of sorrow for him. Erza stepped forward, gently easing her way into Natsu's arms. She wrapped one arm behind his back after Happy jumped to the floor between them. Once she felt Natsu respond in kind she wrapped the other arm around him as well. She was careful to allow him to let go of her hand first. She didn't want to rush to comfort him, and slip up, and upset him. She wasn't used to trying to always maintain contact with him, or with anyone for that matter. Her movements were slow, and gentle. Her grip was firm, and certain.

She couldn't whisper silence like Natsu and Loke could. She clearly didn't know his pain well enough to reach him, the way that the Lion could. However. She had known him longer. She had secretly loved him for many years now. She had lost him to her closest, dearest, very best friend. She had been happy for them. She would give anything to ease his pain. Deep down Erza wished that she had died in Lucy's place. She couldn't forgive herself for having any involvement in Lucy's death, not just because Lucy was her best friend, but more so because of the pain it had brought upon her secret crush. If Erza had died everyone would be hurt, upset, heart broken. But Erza's death would not have broken the dragon slayer. And Natsu was broken, in mind, body, and soul.

"I won't leave, Natsu," Erza tried to whisper to him, "I will hold you, as long as you want me to."

"Aye," Happy offered gently. He had climbed up to Natsu's shoulder, "We love you, Natsu. I love you more than fish!"

Even through his tears Natsu laughed.

"That's a lot of love, Happy," Erza smiled. Natsu nodded.

"Aye!" Happy replied, "More than fish."

"More than fish," Natsu and Erza repeated at the same time, then smiled at each other.

His smile faded quickly, even in make up you could see her scars. He pulled her roughly against him, and began to cry anew.

"I'm sorry," Natsu sobbed into her shoulder, "I'm sorry I hurt you, Erza. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take it all back."

"I...Natsu, it's okay. I'm okay. I...I'm sorry. You were right. I couldn't save you. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I wish...I wish I knew how. I'm glad I can help even if it's just a little. I-I know I'm not Loke, or, or L-Lucy-sama, but I want to hold you, if that's how I can help you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't smart enough to understand that you needed someone to hold you, or let you hold them. I-I can, can do that now though, if, if that's okay?"

"It wasn't just that," Natsu told her, fighting back the lump in his throat, "It's that, Kit,ten... already knew. He knew... about things that ...I never... never told anyone. About... this house, about... the... engagement, ring... He knew. It was... more than... than that though,... He... had... p-p-plans... like that... for the future. It's that... we both lost so... s-so much. He... saw Lucy, the same way... I did. He loved her... like I did. M-maybe...maybe more. And he, he could still...still for, forgive me."

Natsu was choking on his words, crying so hard it broke her heart. She wanted so much to ease the hurt he felt. Erza was crying. Silent tears streaking her face. Happy remained silent unsure what he could say that wouldn't upset Natsu. He was afraid the dragon slayer would become violent like he had in the past when he had cried.

Erza laid gentle, shaking fingers along Natsu's cheek, "I'm sorry," she cried softly. Her voice thick, "I'm so sorry. I just wish," she shook her head as her voice failed. How could she hope to help him when she couldn't even keep from crying. 'Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!' she chastised herself silently, 'Stop blubbering, he needs you to be strong, and you're being a spineless jellyfish!'

"Don't. Don't be sorry. You're hurting just like me. Everyone is. Kitten helped me see that. Our team is broken. I only made it worse. I hurt Happy. Then I hurt you. Look at what I did to your beautiful face. Even after that, even after what I've done, here you are. You love me," Natsu comforted her gently, his tears still flowing but no longer choking him. Erza gasped, and went stiff as a board at his last sentence. Natsu didn't seem to notice.

"You both love me, even more than fish," Natsu finished softly, staring evenly into her eyes.

Erza nodded, relaxing slightly, trying to return that steady gaze. She felt her cheeks warm as the moment dragged on. She couldn't look away. Even as she watched Natsu tilt his head gently, her mind couldn't accept what was happening. His hand took her face gently, his fingers carefully sliding over her skin, softly tilting her chin up. Then he kissed her. She gasped in surprise, and Natsu deepened the kiss.

She blinked repeatedly, but slowly relaxed into him, kissing him in return. He was so warm, so strong. Her mind finally accepting that he could ever want her. This wasn't a dream. She was really in his arms. He was really, truly kissing her. He was better at it than she had ever imagined. She didn't know when she wrapped her arms around his neck. She couldn't remember how they had traveled through the house to the bedroom. Her mind only just registered the sound of the door clicking shut, and hearing Happy snicker somewhere.

Erza felt the slow, gentle tug at the back of her neck as Natsu pulled the tie of her dress. When it finally gave, the blue fabric slowly slithered over her shoulders, and whispered across her breasts, leaving her exposed. Natsu's lips broke away from hers to slide along her face. He brushed tender hungry kisses down her neck, each one blending smoothly with the one before and after. Her breath caught in her throat, and her heart fluttered wildly as he glided along her jugular. She sighed wantonly as he crossed her collar bone. His hands won the war with the fastenings of her dress just as his lips found the hardened nipple of her breast. His tongue teasing the delicate pink flesh causing her to moan softly.

Delicious heat flared along her skin as Natsu's hands glided over her slender, well toned body. He straightened, and took her lips again. Erza trembled in his arms. Natsu tugged his scarf off, and tossed it across the end of the bed. He shrugged out his vest, letting it fall to the floor. He knew what he was doing. Erza had no idea what to do, however. She'd never done this with anyone before. She clung to Natsu as if he were her only lifeline back to sanity, wrapping her arms firmly around his neck once kicked off her shoes as Natsu guided her towards the bed. No matter how she stumbled, he kept a firm hold on her, not allowing her to fall. The long chain of stitches that ran along the underside of his forearms scratching sharply at the skin of her back each time she nearly lost her footing. He was carrying her just as much as she was walking.

They paused at the edge of their destination, Natsu not allowing her to travel farther. His hand tangled itself in Erza's long red hair at the back of her neck, to ensure their kiss remained unbroken, while his free hand did away with his belt. The last of his clothing followed a moment later. He pulled her firmly against him. His hands traveling slowly, hovering teasingly over her smooth skin, as they slid along her sweeping curves. The tips of his fingers catching the top edge of her panties, slowly forcing them down from her hips. A moment later the thin material dropped to the floor.

Erza swallowed hard as she realized, with stunning clarity, their nudity when Natsu pressed her firmly against his body, finally allowing the kiss to end. He stared into her eyes with a look of determination, and intense desire. It made her heart race all the more. She couldn't look away from him even as she blushed bright crimson. Her own breathing was harsh in her ears in the sudden silence that engulfed the couple. Natsu was steady, unwavering. Seeing him so focused on her was unnerving, but seeing him so calm in that focus was comforting.

He tilted his head, his lips so close to her ear that she could feel the heat from his skin. Natsu whispered, "If you want me to stop, say so now. I know you're afraid. I can smell your fear. I promise, I won't hurt you." Her eyes went wide at just how quiet he was, but she listened as he continued, "I want this. I want you. I failed. I failed to protect you. I regret that. Now, I want to hold you. I want to hold you even closer than we are now, but only if you want me to. Only if you want this. If you want me."

There were tears running down her cheeks. Natsu slowly pulled back to look into her eyes. Erza didn't shy from meeting his gaze.

She nodded, "I do. I want you, Natsu."

If she had intended to say more, Natsu would never know. He kissed her again. If it was possible, he did so with even more fiery passion than what had carried them to this point. Erza didn't hold back from him. Natsu guided her onto the bed.

Happy jumped into the air, and floated off to the kitchen to look for more tuna, after the pair were gone. He didn't care what happened, as long as Natsu was okay, and wasn't hurting anyone. As soon as Natsu guided Erza through the door at the end of the hall, Happy couldn't help but snicker. He knew that move all too well. Natsu had done that with Lucy countless times. Gray did that with Juvia all the time too. Happy was well aware that he was definitely _not_ welcome in the room either. It was kinda lonely if he thought about it, but he tried not to. Oooo, but Happy was gonna _love_, telling Mira _all_ about this tomorrow. Maybe Gray would stop throwing up every time someone mentioned Natsu, or Loke. Or maybe Happy should just let Gray sweat it out, and _not_ tell him about Natsu, and Erza. Happy grinned.

He pulled the plate of sandwiches out of the fridge, and carried it to the table. He sat down, and began munching happily. He snickered again when he heard the noise start. It reminded him of when it was Lucy locked in the bedroom with Natsu. They always took forever. And they were always, always sooooo very, _very_ L-O-U-D! The neighbors would complain sometimes. Natsu had just grinned, showed them a picture of Lucy, and asked if they'd seen her. They always said yes, of course. Natsu would look at them straight faced, and ask, "Well, then, can you _blame_ me?!", and he'd close the door on them. They wouldn't come back for a while. Happy was down to only four sandwiches when he was finally full. He put the plate back in the fridge before heading off to the living room.

Happy was sound asleep on the couch when Loke came home.


	8. Fall Out

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Violence lots and lots of violence. Suggestive themes and ideas. Guessed rating of high T – low M. As Always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!_

Chapter 8

Fall Out

Loke found Happy passed out on the couch in the living room. The blue feline was snickering, and mumbling about fish. And kissing? Loke stared at Happy for a moment. He shook his head, and looked around. Everything was in order. Not the slightest hint of a struggle anywhere. There was also no sign of Erza, or Natsu. Where ever they were, they must be together. Loke was thankful for that. At least until he found them.

The string of clothes, and shoes that trailed to the bed enraged the Lion. He should have called someone else, someone of the male gender.

Loke wasn't jealous. He was infuriated, because he knew something that clearly, Erza did not. He felt a deep pang of regret. He had worried that it was too soon, and he was right. He hadn't thought that Erza would allow anything like this to happen. He was mistaken.

"Natsu!" Loke hissed in the dragon slayer's ear, not wanting to wake Erza.

Natsu groaned. Loke clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Get. Up. Now!" Loke hissed into his ear again.

Natsu glared at him for a moment, then blinked. Surprise flooded his features. Natsu was moving quickly, quietly. He was careful not to disturb the woman he had been holding. Loke noted the dazed, confused look in Natsu's eyes as he left the bed. Loke had taken firm hold of Natsu's hand, and dragged him from the room after snatching up Natsu's clothing.

He hauled Natsu out of the back door, and into the rose garden, still naked. Loke rounded on him, deadly intent in his eyes. Loke threw Natsu's clothes at him.

"Get dressed," Loke snarled, releasing Natsu's hand. It was one of the few times that Natsu didn't snap from a lack of contact. It was too difficult to maintain when changing, as well as a few other times.

Natsu put his scarf on first, carefully wrapping it over the chain he wore hidden beneath it. The chain held a simple, plain, standard key. It was the key to Lucy's apartment that she'd given him when they had started dating. It was more important to him than his scarf. It never, _ever_ left his neck. Natsu pulled on his pants. He had barely straightened when the blow hit him square in the face. He stumbled back surprised as pain exploded from his nose.

"What the hell did you think you were doing?!" Loke snarled, his fist still glowing brightly with his magic, "How could you do that to her?!"

"What the hell is your problem, Loke?! You wake me up, drag me out here, and punch me? For what?!" Natsu snapped back, letting his hand drop from his face, his own anger rising.

"Do you have any idea what you just did?" Loke asked, a deadly glare in his sharp green eyes.

"I put on my scarf, and my pants, you f- Loke," Natsu caught himself.

"Why weren't you wearing them already, Natsu? What did you do while I was gone?" Loke countered, leading Natsu back to the understanding that he should have already had.

"I...um...," Natsu had to think about it. His mind was foggy. He was tired, and sore.

"I left you with Erza. I came back, and made you get up, and put clothes on, Natsu. What did you do while I was gone?" Loke pressed, forcing Natsu to think. To remember.

Natsu's eye went wide as understanding hit him, "Sh-sh-she was willing. I didn't force myself on her. She, she wanted me, she said so. I didn't do anything wro-"

Loke hit him again, the Lion Spirit's magic flashing blindingly, even angrier at Natsu for trying to defend his actions. Natsu couldn't dodge, couldn't block. Loke was too fast all of the sudden. He'd never seen Loke like this before. Natsu flew several feet to the right, and hit the ground hard.

"You son of a bitch! You used her! You think she knew who you were talking to? Who you were seeing? No woman wants that, Natsu Dragneel!" Loke kicked the dragon slayer in the ribs, his magic flaring once more. Natsu gasped, but Loke continued unphased, "Do you really think that's how she would have wanted to loose her virginity?!"

Another glittering kick to the ribs landed, "To a broken man that can only see a dead lover?!" another brightly glowing kick, "You think she knew what she was agreeing to?! You used her!" Loke was screaming at him, shaking with uncontrollable rage. He kicked Natsu again with a blinding flash. Natsu lay there for several long, painful minutes. His mind working through the pain, as the words spiraled through his head, their meanings slowly taking root.

Natsu stared at him, horrified, "V-Virgin?" His mind raced, he thought back to the chain of events before Loke had returned. Natsu's heart sank as he remembered the scent of Erza's blood. Erza had been a virgin. He had been gentle with her thankfully. He hadn't called her Lucy, either, even though that's who he was seeing almost the entire time. Natsu struggled, but came back to his feet unaided. He faced Loke after backing away a few feet. Needing to have distance from the enraged Lion Spirit. Pain and distress taking turns on Natsu's battered face.

"What have I...This is _your_ fault, Loke! You left me! You put all those ideas in my head, and then you left me alone with her!" Natsu shot back trying to push away the pain of the truth. He launched at Loke, but he was ready for it. He caught Natsu's fists, Natsu's flames disappeared in Loke's fierce grip, his own magic countering the fire instantly. Loke deftly twisted around the other, then slammed his knee hard into Natsu's stomach with another glittering light show. He released the dragon slayer, and allowed him to collapse onto the ground, the air knocked from his lungs.

"That was _yesterday_, Natsu. You never said anything to _me_ about a desire to toss Erza. If you had, I would have warned her, or found someone else! You! You did this! You, and you alone, Natsu! Don't try to put this on anyone else! What you have done is _unforgivable_!" Loke returned viciously.

Natsu lay unmoving for a long time. He stared at the ground beside his head gasping for air like a fish out of water. His body was screaming at him, but it was drowned out by something far worse than the physical pain. Loke's words rang in his head over, and over again. Unforgivable. Natsu had finally done something unforgivable in Loke's eyes. Which meant in Lucy's eyes.

"I can no longer hold you, Natsu," Loke told him. His voice was hard, and cold, "You must make this right. You must do so alone. If you make her cry, I swear on Erza's life, I will leave you so mangled that you will only lay there wallowing in misery that you will be completely powerless to end. I will make sure that you live a long, _long_ life, so that you have all the time in the world to regret _every single tear_ that _you_ caused to fall from those beautiful eyes. I will ensure that you _never_ hold anyone in your arms _ever_ again, if you make Erza cry. Do I make myself _perfectly_ clear, Natsu Dragneel?"

Natsu nodded as he began to sob. The understanding of what Loke was telling him, tearing a new deep wound in his heart, carving it's way down to his very soul, which seemed to twist in agony.

Natsu sucked in hard, trying to force the air back into his body, "I, under, stand," Natsu managed.

"I will tell you now, do _not_ tell her the truth. Do not dare tell her that you were seeing Princess, when it was Erza in your arms. That would break her heart, and make her cry, and then very, _very_ bad things will happen to you. Treat her with the same care, and devotion you did My Beloved. At some point you will have to learn to see Erza. Protect her, Natsu, and don't you dare fail to do so in _every_ way," Loke offered, his voice still hard and harsh, but his words were given in compassion.

"I-I'll find a way, I-I promise," Natsu choked.

"You better, Now get up, get in there, and hold your _new_ girlfriend, you jackass of a dragon, before I change my mind, and just kill you here, and now, and solve everyone's problems. I can always tell her I was jealous because I wanted her for myself. She would believe it too. I did used to chase her. Before Princess saved me," Loke finished.

Natsu looked at Loke in a whole new light at that moment. He'd never known that Loke desired Erza. It surprised him, mostly because Erza had been so scary back then. She could still be scary, but not like what she was before. Lucy had softened her, at least with her friends, and Nakama.

Natsu got to his feet slowly, pain searing his chest, and face as he moved. Loke only stood back, and watched. Natsu gathered his vest before walking shakily back into the house.

A few minutes later, Loke followed. A deep pain scratching at his heart. Loke was afraid of what awaited him at the hands of Virgo, if this ended badly. No matter how you looked at it, Loke had left them alone together without at least warning Erza.

Natsu stripped after reentering the bedroom. He returned to Erza's side. He slipped his arms around her, carefully. He winced in pain at every movement, but that only made his face hurt more. He snuggled as close as he could, like he used to do with Lucy, and got as comfortable as his injuries would allow.

Instead of returning to sleep, he cried, as quietly as he was able. He was afraid to wake her up. He didn't know how he would face her in the morning, but he would have to. One way or another.

He couldn't take this back any more than he could the scars he had left on her pretty face. Loke was right, this was unforgivable. Natsu didn't return to sleep at all that night. He had far too much to think about.

Loke slept alone for the first time in weeks. He bunched up the pillows, and hugged them tight as he cried.

"I'm so, so sorry, Princess. I failed you. I failed to protect them for you. Please forgive me," Loke whispered to the pillow.

After a long time, he fell asleep. He dreamed of Lucy. She was crying with him over what had happened. Before the dream ended, she forgave her faithful lion for what her dragon had done to her all-too-trusting knight.

Her last words rang though his head long after he woke. Those words went farther to heal him than anything anyone else could have said to console him since he had lost his princess.

"You are still my prince, Loke. Always and Forever."

The next morning was awkward to say the very least.

Erza awoke in Natsu's arms, still as naked as she had been when she fell asleep. She couldn't shake the feeling that he wasn't really looking at her when they had made love. She couldn't ask him though, she was too afraid of the answer. She couldn't tell herself not regret what had happened. She was uncertain of how to face him, or Loke for that matter.

What the hell had she been thinking? Yes, okay, she was completely in love with the fire dragon slayer. But he was still very much in love with her very best friend, regardless of the fact that that same friend was dead, and had been for over three months now. Erza felt like she had just back stabbed Lucy, and she didn't know how to change that. That his strong, warm arms were still firmly wrapped around her, didn't help her feel better. The more she thought about those arms, the more she began to blush.

She lay unmoving, blushing, thinking for a long time. Slowly she came out of her thoughts as a warm hand slid slowly up to caress her breast. She inhaled sharply, and turned to look over her shoulder. Natsu was wide awake. He stared levelly at her.

"Sorry, I know you were thinking about something. I didn't mean to disturb you," he said softly without smiling. He didn't remove his hand though, he simply stopped stroking her skin.

"It's okay. I-," Erza blinked, "What happened to you?!" She exclaimed as she realized his face was black, and blue, and swollen, like he had just completed an S class mission single handedly.

"Um...," Natsu turned away but didn't release her, "It's nothing. Just Loke was pretty mad when he got home. We got into a fight."

"A fight? Why?" Erza asked sitting up to look him over better.

"He, um, thought that I might have forced you. Or maybe he was just jealous, and that was just his excuse. It's fine though, really don't worry bout it," Natsu lied. He wasn't sure what to say, because he didn't know what Loke would say was the reason behind the fight. They hadn't planned how to explain Natsu's injuries. Loke wasn't in the room to step in with an answer either. Loke wasn't going to be holding him any more. Loke wasn't going to catch him anymore. Loke wasn't going to be there anymore. And it was Natsu's own damn fault. And it hurt, but he refused to let the tears rise.

"But...you two don't fight! You just talk, or whisper, and everything is just better! Why would he _hit_ you? He could have pulled your stitches letting you fight like that!" Erza was becoming more upset as she thought about it. This was her fault. If she had stopped Natsu, he and Loke wouldn't be fighting. He wouldn't be covered in bruises. She wondered how bad Loke looked if Natsu was like this.

"Nah, didn't even get a hit on him. He's a damn good fighter when it's just hand to hand. I woulda had to hit him with my fire to stand a chance of pulling my stitches," Natsu said like it was nothing. He was lying again. Loke had been completely oblivious to Natsu's magic. He'd even been able to put the flames out without looking like he even tried!

Erza's jaw dropped open, "Y-you mean...he, he just, he just beat you up?! And you let him?!"

"I didn't _let_ him! I just didn't use magic. I wasn't gonna trash the garden just to save myself a few lumps. It's not like it's all that bad. I've gotten way worse than this," Natsu retorted, angry at the topic. He didn't want Erza to think he was weak. He didn't like that he had been unable to touch Loke at all. He hated that Loke had taken him down so easily. But he knew the reason was a worthy one. Loke had a righteous anger last night when he faced Natsu. Even with magic, Natsu had been no match for the Lion Spirit. Natsu wasn't about to tell Erza that. He didn't want to risk her finding out why they had really fought.

"It's not that big a deal, Babe, really," Natsu soothed, swallowing his anger, "if you want, I'll let you kiss my boo boos," Natsu grinned at her.

Erza blushed. Natsu reached up as a thought occurred to him, and stroked her face gently. He pulled her into his arms, holding his breath to keep from hissing at the pain.

"It wasn't your fault, lover," he whispered gently to her, "He was just trying to defend your honor, I wasn't going to stop him. It's too worthy of a cause. He told me that if I make you cry, or I fail to protect you, that he's gonna tear me limb from limb, and he'll make sure that I survive it. If Kitten ever decides that I've done something worth killing me or worse over, there is nothing in this world, that will keep him from doing it. He would go that far to protect any one of our Nakama, even from each other. I think there are a lot of reasons behind what happened between Kitten, and I last night. So please, please don't blame yourself. Kitten loves us all, more than fish, not as much as he loved her, but more than fish."

Erza listened without interruption, or emotion, until Natsu finished. His words sank into her heart, and eased her fears. She wasn't pleased with Loke over the ordeal but she could understand why Natsu excepted it so easily. Or at least she believed that she did. Her beliefs were based on the white-lies he had told her, to keep from shattering her heart.

Erza nodded after a long moment, and smiled at Natsu. He stroked her cheek and kissed her lips softly. Then he held her for a long time. His hands running slowly along her body. Without meaning to he aroused her desire. He wasn't about to risk telling her no, so he gave in instantly when she kissed him. He struggled to respond but managed to hide it from her completely. The only time he hesitated, and she noticed, was when he accidentally caught himself in his broken ribs with his elbow. He broke their kiss, and turned his head to let out the sharp hiss of pain.

Erza worried over the dark ugly bruises that covered his upper body. Natsu repeatedly brushed off her concern. They coupled again as they had the night before. Natsu knew exactly how to move. How to touch her. A few seconds after her first cry of pleasure, Loke was in the doorway. Natsu belted him with a pillow, and ordered him out. Loke disappeared again. A dark look under the bright blush on his cheeks. Not long after that Loke had to leave to remain sane. Erza was every bit as loud as Lucy had been. Loke still didn't understand how Happy could sleep through all that noise.

He waited a while before he slipped back into the house. They weren't done but at least they weren't rattling the rafters any more either. Loke set to work making breakfast. He had only just finished gathering the ingredients he would use when the newly formed couple wandered into the kitchen.

"Good Morning, Erza. I'm preparing breakfast. If there's something you'd like, let me know," Loke said cheerfully without looking up. To Natsu he simply said, "Natsu, I hope your up to working today. We're starting the gazebo. We have to get all the materials from town as soon as breakfast is over."

"Um, Morning, Loke," Erza replied, "I have a question for you."

"Ask away," Loke purred back.

"Are you my father?" Erza asked. She was serious. Loke looked up at her in shock. Natsu had turned to look at her as well.

"Uh, n-no. W-why would you ask that, Erza?" Loke stammered, caught off guard.

"Then what gives you the right to attack Natsu?" Erza snapped.

"I-I was just, just defending your honor! I thought, that he had..." Loke trailed off, uncertain of what to say. He was on dangerous ground here. He didn't want to end up getting caught in a lie. They couldn't tell her the truth.

"My honor? You think I am incapable of defending myself?!" Erza shouted back. Now she was really, well and truly enraged, and insulted.

She requipped into her Death's Knight Armor. It was by far one of her most terrifying armors. She very, very rarely used. Black leather clung like a second skin to her legs reaching up to mid-thigh, wrapped in black metal, that tinkled with the sound of the small animal skulls that hung from small chains randomly down the length of those three inch high stiletto boots. Her hips were draped in a black chain mail loin cloth that had small bones beaded to the front and back to form a grisly screaming skull, and was secured with a chain of grinning skulls each set with glass eyes. Her bare midriff was encircled by a pair of twisted ancient chains that did nothing to hide her body as they spiraled up and over her shoulders.

Her ample breasts were each hidden behind the grimly screaming front half of a human skull, whose lower jaw rested against her ribcage leaving the lower half of each breast exposed. These skulls were also set with glittering glass eyes, with blood red chain mail tongues lolling out from between the jaws, and dangled to her navel. Her face was frightening to look upon because of the veil that was painted with another grinning skull. Her flashing eyes gleamed through the empty sockets that shadowed her face giving her a skeletal appearance, and offering a dark future with a permanent smile.

A headband of various bones hooded most of her forehead. Her hair pulled tight into a crown of five ponytails, bound in black leather and small twisting chains that extended straight out from her head in all direction for a foot before erupting into dancing showers of her vivid red hair, giving her the appearance of blood spewing forth from severed arteries. Taloned black leather gloves swept to mid-bicep of each arm.

In her hands was a massive scythe, the shaft of which was comprised of human femurs. At the end of the eight foot long shaft of the scythe was affixed a heavy ancient chain that looked as if it was encrusted in dried blood. The chain, that was coiled in one taloned grip, ended with a spiked metal ball equally encrust. Erza was just as alluring as ever, but her deadly intent as she stood in a fighting stance to face Loke made her the most terrifying of visions at that moment.

"I am a grown woman, and I make my own decisions. I'm telling you to keep yourself out of _my_ love life. I know you couldn't manage to do that with Lucy-sama. But I'm warning you, Loke. If you _ever_ attack someone, because _I_ chose to bed them ever again, I will _personally_ kick your sorry carcass all OVER Fieore! If you were so concerned about my choices, I would expect you to bring it up with me, _first!_ I have yet to see Gray sporting your handy work for being with Juvia. And if this is just because I refused you, you'll only _wish_ that I would be so merciful as to punish you with _that_. Do not ever attack one of my Nakama again, Loke," Erza snarled at him.

Loke's jaw was on the floor. Natsu had backed away from her cringing in fright. Erza could still scare the pants off any living being that valued it's life.

"I'm going to go take a shower now, Natsu," Erza said with a bright smile. She stepped forward and kissed Natsu quickly. Still wearing her Death's Knight Armor, she left the room without another word.

Several moments later the stunned silence collapsed under it's own weight.

"You _told_ her about the fight?!" Loke hissed at Natsu's back.

"I didn't have to," Natsu sighed.

"Oh holy shit, please, please tell me she didn't wake up, and hear us," Loke plead placing a hand over his face.

"Nah, she was sound asleep. Don't know how she slept through it, but she did," Natsu responded softly.

"Then how in the _hell_ does she _know_, Natsu?" Loke growled. He was getting angry again.

Natsu turned around so that he was facing Loke, he kept his head down.

"She saw me, Kitten," Natsu said softly.

The use of his pet name surprised him. Loke eyed Natsu for a long minute. He was mostly shadowed where he stood, or so it seemed from the dark patches under his vest, "What do you mean she saw you?" He asked after a moment.

Natsu didn't say anything. He sighed heavily, and lifted his chin finally. The light revealed the damage that had been done. Loke involuntarily hissed when he saw Natsu's face, which had worsened substantially since he had first gotten up that morning. One eye was now swollen shut, the other was black from the broken nose. He had a fat lip that had split and the rift in the skin seemed to be spreading to below his lip. If Natsu hadn't been a dragon slayer, Loke very well might have killed him by accident last night. Loke looked away, he had gone overboard if he had left Natsu in this condition he realized. Regardless of the reason, Loke had crossed the line. He should have held back more.

"You kicked the shit outta me last night, Kitten. I can't hide this from a blind man. I've got eight broken ribs, and a broken nose. She's not stupid, and she's not blind," Natsu stated quietly, without making eye contact.

"I went too far, Puff," Loke confessed after a long pause, "I'm, I'm sorry. I was wrong to hit you like that. I shouldn't have hit you so much. I lost control of my temper. I didn't...," Loke paused searching for the words he needed, but couldn't find them, "I apologize. What did you tell her? Other than I'm a brainless, jealous jackass?"

Natsu laughed softly, "I told her you thought that I might of forced her, and you were defending her honor. You were just trying to protect her, because you care about us. I also told her that you might be jealous but I wasn't sure. That was your idea by the way. I also told her you said if I made her cry or didn't protect her that you'd tear me limb from limb and make sure I survived it. You know, mostly the truth, just not all of it," Natsu shrugged then hissed, "Damn, I gotta quit moving."

"Change of plans, Puff. Sit down, and rest. I'll get you an ice pack. The gazebo can wait a few days. If we don't get the swelling down, we'll have to get you to a doctor for that eye," Loke said, moving to Natsu's side, and guiding him into a chair. Natsu accepted the help without complaint.

When Erza returned from the shower she was dressed in short, denim overalls, and a tight, white, cropped tank top, and work boots. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She was ready to help with building the gazebo.

Natsu looked at her, and smirked passed his ice pack, "mMm," he intoned, "I'd whistle but not sure I can at the moment."

Erza blushed, and smiled at him.

"I smell food!" Happy announced flying in, and landing in a chair at the table, "Oi! Natsu! _Who_ happened to _you_?!"

"I did," Loke said as he placed food in front of Natsu.

"Ooooo, I gotta tell Mira! Natsu and Erza are dating, and Loke is J-E-A-L-O-U-S!" Happy gushed, "Or did Loke take Erza for himself?! Loke doesn't look like he's got a scratch on him! Did you get Natsu in his sleep?! That's playing dirty, Loke! Erza who are you dating? Oo Oo Oo! Or could you not choose, and now your with them both?!" Happy was bouncing at so much juicy gossip!

Natsu was laughing, and crying at the same time. Erza was even more red than her hair. Loke was gaping like a fish.

"Ohmagawd! Happy, _Breathe_! You can _NOT_ tell _Any one_ about _any_ of this," Erza was the first to recover.

"B-b-but WHY?!" Happy complained.

"Look," Erza sighed, trying to think, "IF Natsu and I decide to tell people about us then we will. But you can not just start all these insane rumors! This is...all...really, just really complicated right now. Please, Happy. Natsu, Loke and I really need you to keep quiet about everything that's happened since I came over last night. We need time to work things out between us, without everyone else being involved. Okay?" Erza managed.

Happy nodded, "Aye!"

"I didn't beat, Puff in his sleep either," Loke purred, "And I'm not jealous. And I'm not stealing Erza for myself."

"I let Kitten kick me around last night. We just had a fight about somethin' that was important. That absolutely is _never_ to be breathed to another living soul again, Happy. Do not tell anyone about Kitten and me gettin' in a fight last night at all, ever. Okay?" Natsu added, his voice thick with pain.

"Aye! I'll keep quiet about the fight, Natsu. But are you and Erza boyfriend, and girlfriend now?" Happy replied.

"Yeah," Natsu answered, then realized that he hadn't actually ask Erza, "Well, I mean, if she... wants to be, that is."

Natsu was secretly hoping that she would say no. More because it would let him off the hook with Loke. But at the same time, he liked the idea of having a woman around that he could hold whenever he wanted, or needed too. He had slept really well until Loke had woken him. She felt better in his arms. He knew that either way it didn't really matter, he still saw Lucy, no matter who he was holding. It wasn't fair to Erza, but he couldn't tell Erza that. Natsu started to tear up at the thoughts that were running through his head. He fought back the tears. He refused to look at anyone.

Erza was blushing under the quietly questioning gaze of Loke and Happy.

"Well, I, um, think, we could, probably try, maybe. I-I don't want to, um, rush you into anything, or anything," Erza stammered awkwardly, looking at the floor.

"Phht! Well that's not much of an answer!" Happy scoffed. Erza looked up in surprise.

"W-w-what do you mean?" Erza asked, her eyes large, and bright with more than a little fear.

"You like Natsu. You liiiiiiiike him like him, right?" Happy asked.

"W-well, yes," Erza said blushing more.

"And I know Natsu, he liiiiikes you. A lot! So if you both want to be with each other than what's the problem? Are you Natsu's girlfriend now, or not?" Happy was straight forward and to the point, even if he was completely unaware of just how wrong he was about Natsu's own feelings. Not that he didn't like her like that, just that he was still unavailable both mentally, and emotionally.

Erza blushed a vibrant red. She didn't answer. The question hung heavy in the air. The minutes dragged by. The silence was daunting.

"Baby!" Natsu said suddenly.

"What?" Erza responded instantly.

Natsu laughed, "Just say yes."

Erza blushed even more, realizing what Natsu had just done, "Y-yes, Happy."

"Aye!" Happy cheered.

"Now that that is settled, food, eat," Loke ordered as he set the last plate of food on the table, and sat down. He was very pleased with Natsu being bold enough to nudge her like that. He knew Natsu could have just let her waffle on it until she backed out, leaving Natsu free of guilt, or blame. At least the dirtbag had the brains, heart, and spine to step up, and face the music instead of taking the easy way out. Loke felt a strong twinge of regret as he looked at the bruises he'd left behind. Natsu was a good man, and some where in his anger, Loke had forgotten that.

Erza sat beside Natsu, who quietly took her hand. He stroked her fingers gently with his thumb for a moment before letting go, and resting his hand on her knee under the table. She finally relaxed at the gesture, but kept a slight blush through out the meal. After the meal, they took Natsu to the hospital. The swelling was only getting worse.


	9. Gate Keys

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Violent and graphic descriptions and disturbing themes. Rating probably T. As always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 9

Gate Keys

After another month Natsu went to visit Lucy's grave alone. It was her birthday, and the first time that he had been to her grave since the funeral. He gave her the only thing he could; a dozen roses, one in every color the flower shop had. He knew she would have loved them. He spent the entire day there, alone.

It wasn't long after Natsu's visit to Lucy's grave that, Erza and Natsu began cross training with the only two Silver Stellar Spirit Keys that had been found. Erza took to it faster, but Natsu was stronger at it, when he finally managed to get the hang of calling Stellar Spirits. It was another three months before two Golden Gate Keys were found. Taurus and Virgo.

Erza, much to Taurus' chagrin, was given Virgo, while Natsu worked with Taurus. It was at about this time that Natsu, and Erza informed everyone of their relationship. The guild members were excited. Everyone took it as a sign of Natsu's recovery. Only Natsu and Loke were aware that Natsu still didn't see Erza most of the time, but he was getting better about it.

Two weeks before the one year anniversary of Lucy's death, the remaining members of Fairy Tail's strongest team, plus Mira and Loke, stood in Makarov's office.

"I think the time has come," Loke was speaking. All eyes were on him, as he continued with a sad smile, "to pass my key on to a new holder. Puff. Erza. You have both worked hard. I never would have thought that you would get so far so quickly with this. You're both good key holders. Princess would be pleased with the way that you work with your Spirits. Erza, I wanted to cross train you in case Puff couldn't learn quickly enough.

I expected this to take years, not months. I think the reason you both grasped it so quickly, is because of Princess. You worked with her for so long you learned things about the basics without realizing it. I think it's also because the Spirits you are working with were once her Spirits as well. They know you. They trust you.

I don't doubt that they know why we are doing this as well. I believe that they have been helping us with the training in every way that they can. Since Puff can call Zodiac Spirits, I'm going to give him my key. After all, we started this so that I could return when he needs me. I want you both to keep training though. Neither of you have mastered calling the Silver Key Spirits yet, but you can call Zodiac Spirits. That's enough for now at least."

"There is still one problem," Makarov stated after Loke did not say anything more, "We still don't _have_ your key. You buried it with Lucy-sama. How do you propose to retrieve it without exhumation?"

Everyone cringed. It was a deeply disturbing idea to all of them.

"We are _**Not**_ digging her up! I will _not_ agree to that! Not now, Not _ever_!" Natsu snarled heatedly, horrified that anyone would even think of something like that, and without his approval they would have to go before the Magic Council, to overrule him on it, as he was her legal next of kin that she had listed.

"Aye!" Agreed Happy.

"I'm asking _Loke_, about a solution, _not_ you!" Makarov shot back.

"Aye!" Happy chimed.

"I am not under contract, so I can control my key. I can call it to me, _without_ disturbing My Beloved's remains," Loke stated, ending the debate instantly.

"Oh, I didn't know you could do that," Makarov and Natsu said at the same time.

"Aye!" Happy repeated.

Without further preamble, Loke raised his hands, and clasped them in front of his chest. His hands began to glow brightly with a golden light. After a few minutes, he relaxed, and displayed the Key to the Gate of the Lion. Everyone stared at him in amazement. Loke turned to Natsu, and held out the key. Natsu took a deep, steadying breath, before taking the key with a shaky hand. He was trying not to cry. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and nodded at Loke.

"I leave this with you, Puff. I will come whenever you need me. I am going to return to the Spirit World, and recover my strength. I'm not in bad shape, so don't hesitate to call," Loke said. He placed his hand on Natsu's shoulder as he spoke, releasing his grip on the key only after he finished speaking.

Natsu nodded, "I'll be fine, Kitten. I'm not alone. Erza's with me, and Happy. Now. You'll always be at my side. Just like with Luce."

The two men smiled at each other, then hugged tightly. They both had tears in their eyes, but they were still smiling.

"Okay," Loke said stepping back, and taking a deep breath, "I, I'll see you around."

Natsu nodded bravely. Loke vanished. Silence filled the office. After a long while, the assembled drifted out of the office in a daze. No one spoke. Erza took Natsu's hand as they walked, silently reassuring her boyfriend. Happy rode on Natsu's shoulder all the way back home.

The other guild members all noticed, when Loke never came back down stairs with the crew that had gone to the office. It was a bittersweet day in Fairy Tail. It felt like loosing someone, that wasn't actually dead. They were just not there. Some how it felt like Lucy had just gotten a little farther away from the world of the living. Mira didn't smile for the rest of the day.

Loke was back the next morning. After breakfast, Loke, Natsu, Erza and Happy went to the guild to meet up with Gray and Juvia. They talked for a long time at the table they all used to meet at a year before. They took out a mission together. Natsu was almost excited about it. He smiled but didn't quite grin. The following week Natsu disappeared.

Natsu sat in the dimly lit dining room, struggling to think of how to write the note so that no one would come after him. He scratched his head, tapping his scarred chin. The fat lip Loke had given him had swelled so badly that he had needed stitches for it to finally heal. He had another scar below his left eye were the doctors had lanced the bruise from one of the other blows he'd taken from Loke the night Erza and Natsu had first gotten together. The swelling had threatened to cost Natsu his eye. Where it had been lanced there was now a small thin twisted scar. Loke still apologized about the beating he'd given Natsu. Natsu just shrugged, and reminded Loke that he had deserved it.

Natsu rubbed that scar below his eye as it had begun to ache a little, it hadn't healed well. He had to put this just right. He knew Erza would be upset, but he needed to do this, he needed to go. He couldn't take anyone with him either. He couldn't let them stop him. He needed this too much.

Need to do- Natsu started to write, then paused.

"some soul searching? That don't really sound right. Not thinking, I could do that here. Damn, how am I gonna put this?" Natsu grumbled. He stared at the paper for a long time.

An inspiration filled him suddenly and he wrote:

Need to do something important. Need to do this alone. Trying really hard not to cry. Gonna miss you all until I get back. Please don't worry. Not gonna hurt myself. It's not dangerous or anything. Got Kitten with me. Please don't try to find me. Won't be gone more than a week. I know it's sudden and I didn't say anything to you guys about going anywhere. I just gotta do this alone right now.

More Than Fish

~Natsu

Natsu studied the note. He was satisfied with it. He left it on the table to be found in the morning by Erza or Happy. He picked up the small bag that he'd stuffed with some food, and a few supplies, and left.

When Erza found Natsu's note, she cried. Long and hard. Loke heard about it from Virgo.

Exactly one year to the day, Natsu stood in the room where Lucy had died in his arms. The memories had flooded back so hard and fast that he had stopped dozens of times on his way through the temple to this place to sob out the pain and regret. He walked around the twin ceremonial rooms and the hall that connected them, studying the walls in wonder.

Loke really had painted life sized murals of Lucy on every single wall. Even though they were done only in blood, the skill was amazing. They had depth, texture, and varying shades. How the Lion Spirit had done that, Natsu couldn't fathom. Maybe later he would call Loke, and ask. Each image was stunningly accurate in detail. Natsu studied them for several hours.

All that red reminded Natsu of Erza. He found it amusing that now that he had come to focus solely on Lucy without Erza as a place holder, he was thinking of Erza. They both deserved better than him Natsu decided. Maybe then Lucy would be alive, and Erza would have a man that only had eyes for her, and her alone.

Natsu settled down on the floor where he had been a year ago. Remembering the feel of Lucy's damaged body in his arms. He didn't fight the tears that came. He just let them fall as hard and fast as they pleased. Step by step in his mind he remembered every moment. Every heartbeat. He thought about which of his decisions had be the single most damning. Finally he decided that it had been that one moment. When the other mage had warned him. He had looked at Lucy. He had looked to assure himself that she was fine. When he saw that she was he had looked away.

That. That had been the worst decision. If he hadn't looked away. If he had gone to her in that moment. If he had gone to her, he could have saved her. He would have been able to get her out of the temple.

He could have stopped that mage from stabbing her. He had seen the guy moving behind her. He just hadn't realized at the time that that was what he was seeing. He had thought that it was her whip.

Lucy had smiled at him. She had thought that he was finished. That he was coming to save her. Her smile wasn't the confident 'I got this' that he had blindly thought it was. It was overwhelmingly relieved that he coming to save her. She had looked at him, and in doing so lost track of her opponent. She wasn't wiping the floor with that guy. She was doing everything in her very limited power to keep him away from her. Him and that dagger. The dagger that had stolen her magic, leaving her unable to summon even Loke to aid her.

Natsu had been so cocky. So self assured. So over confident. In his arrogance he had seen the danger she was in, and he had completely failed to recognize it for what it was. He had always swept in just in the nick of time, and saved the day. That's what a hero does. He had all the time in the world to show up, and be the hero. He had forgotten that he was not the master of time. He had forgotten that the danger that someone else was in, wouldn't wait for him to be ready for it to strike, so that he could thwart it at the last moment, and win against all odds. The triumphant hero.

"Lucy. I failed you when you needed me the most," Natsu whispered to the very air itself.

Natsu drew his knees up to his chest, folded his arms, and rested his head. He didn't move for a long time, allowing his tears to flow unhindered.

He remembered all too clearly her scream. It had shattered the hero image that he had of himself in his head. An image that would forever be broken and flawed. That scream. Her scream. Lucy's last scream still hung in the air of the temple. It still rang in his ears. It was the last sound she ever made. It haunted him. It would always haunt him.

Natsu turned his head to change the pressure in his arms from it's weight. Something on the floor at the far end of the room caught his eye. He squinted.

"What is that?" Natsu asked even though there was no one there to answer.

He climbed to his feet slowly, keeping his eyes on the gleaming object on the floor. He walked to the strange alter that Lucy had once been tied to. On the floor near one of the thick supports lay the dagger that had taken Lucy's magic, and then her life.

Natsu stared at it for a long time. He hated that dagger. He hated the way it looked with it's hilt made of twisted silver embedded with Lacrima crystals that ended in a delicate rounded orb. He hated the sweeping blade with it's smoothly scalloped tapered edge, and it's needle fine tip. He hated the way it twinkled and glittered. The way the Lacrima crystals sparkled and glowed with an inner light. Light that made the dagger look deceptively beautiful.

Natsu glared at the dagger for a long time. He hated it. He hated it with all his heart. That dagger would remain looking as beautiful as the day it was crafted even though it had stolen Lucy's power, and then her very life. He remembered seeing it coated in her blood. He remembered when it was ugly, and it dripped red, and burned with a fiery light. He would always remember how ugly it had been then.

Natsu picked up the dagger. It was warm to the touch. He stared at it. Why was it warm? What other horrible secrets did this dagger hold? He glared at the weapon he held. It would not answer the questions he had. It would simply glitter, and pretend to be beautiful.

Natsu went back to where he had been sitting on the floor. A spot clearly marked by the large dripped blood pool that still remained on the sandy, tan stones of the temple floor. He sat down again staring at the dagger. He hated the dagger. He hated the temple. He hated the men whose blood now adorned the walls. But most of all, Natsu hated himself, and the broken, fallen, failed hero he had become.

He sat for a long, long time. Staring at that ugly, beautiful dagger. The sun was beginning to set outside. It threw glorious violent light through the high set windows near the vaulted ceiling. Natsu thought about going to watch it slip below the horizon but decided he didn't want to. Not tonight. The night of the Spring Equinox. The Anniversary of Lucy's death.

He was crying freely again.

"I would give _anything_ to change that one single decision when I looked away from you, Lucy, instead of coming for you. I would give anything to do that moment over. I would give anything, anything at all, anything that I have _ever_ had," Natsu said. His tears fell like rain. They fell on the dagger he held in his hand. Without thinking. Natsu grabbed the dagger firmly in both hands and snapped it in two. The blade suddenly sheared free of the hilt.

There was a blinding flash of light. The dried blood pool before him flared like fire, but moved like water. The two halves of the dagger shattered into thousands of tiny pieces as fine as any dust had ever been. Natsu stared in horror at what he was seeing.

The blood pool began to rise from the floor, and mix with the dust of the dagger. The magic that had still remained trapped within the dagger, flaring powerfully as it was released into the air to merge with the blood and silver dust.

The silence disappeared as the sound of screeching metal, and crackling power rang through the ceremonial room. After a minute the noise was replaced by a deep eerie cackle.

'What did I just do?!' Natsu thought wildly fighting down panic.

"Anything, you say?" The voice asked as it continued to laugh in about as evilly menacing a way as was possible, "You would give anything to do that moment over?"

The light dimmed finally. Natsu blinked. Before him stood a twisted golden gate. At the top of it's high twisted arches rested a warped, thick skinned head with black orbs for eyes. The smile that adorned the face of that head was more twisted than the gate itself.

"Answer me! Yes or No? Would you give anything to do that moment over? To change the choice you made, when you turned from the woman instead of going to her?" The gate head snapped at him, the twisted smile gone, the eerie laugh silenced.

"Absolutely anything!" Natsu stated without hesitation or thought.

"HAHAHA! Natsu Dragneel! I accept! I will grant you passage through my gate!" the head laughed at him.

"H-how the hell do you know my name? Who are you?" Natsu questioned, a sudden feeling of dread rising up in him.

"I am the Gate of Time! I know all that has ever been! I have stood witness to all things since the beginning of time for that was my birth! You have summoned me! You seek passage through the Gate of Time in order to change a choice that you made! I accept your offer! I will name my price before you enter," The gate head replied.

Natsu swallowed hard. He stared at the gate, thinking of what he should do, and what he could do.

"How does this work? I don't know anything about you," Natsu answered.

"Immortal beings such as Stellar Spirits are not permitted passage through my gate. You must leave your gate keys behind. You are a mortal being, you may pass through my gate, but only ever once! This will be your only chance. Perhaps you would rather go to a different point in time, think it over carefully," The gate informed Natsu.

"No," Natsu said shaking his head, "I know what choice I want to change."

"Very well, your destination is set. Now, about payment. I work in trade. A choice for a choice. You have chosen yours, now I shall choose mine. I choose: the moment the rain began to fall as you sat with Lucy Heartfilia in the park, and you both ran, leaving the basket, and the mission request in the rain. Instead, you will stop to grab that basket, and paper," The gate informed him.

Natsu gasped, and took a step back. Tears flooded his eyes. He knew the exact moment the gate was talking about. It was what had led Natsu and Lucy to their first kiss on her doorstep. That had been the moment that made her his girlfriend. What would have happen if he had stopped to grab the food, and the paper? Natsu swallowed hard. He had to really think about this.

"I warn you, you will remember the results of both your original choice, and the altered choice," The gate head prodded at him, "You said _anything_. That is the price of passage. Do you accept?"

Natsu's mind was racing. What did it really matter? It's not like he was giving up something he hadn't already lost. Lucy was dead. Even if it meant that she would never love him, at least she would be alive. It was worth it.

"I accept," Natsu stated looking up.

The gate head stared at him in amazement. The few that had stood before him had always argued, begged, pleaded or tried to bargain. More than half had declined. This man was different. He knew the choice, he understood what it meant, what was being paid, and he was accepting. And without a fight. The gate was impressed. He had never seen anyone stand before him willing to go so far, or give so much so readily.

"I will offer you this, Natsu Dragneel. If you find you have not the time, call for the other that shares your love. He is listening, always listening. Your Lucy is facing the master, not the apprentice. Bring down the master. Leave the apprentice. Remember his warning. She must not remain _within_ these walls. To return her magic to her, she must simply hold the dagger firmly in both hands, and say "Release Thy Stolen Strength". When you reach the other side of my gate, Natsu, the you that is now, will replace the you that was then.

The you that you were then will vanish forever. You will maintain all of your scars, and all the possessions you have on you. You will know all that you know now. All other mortals will know nothing, unless you tell them, but even then, they very well may not believe you. You and I shall never met again. You will never be able to summon me after this. Remember my words. Good luck to you. You are the only one who has stood before me that I find to be worthy of such an opportunity," the gate head told him.

Natsu had listened to every single word. He removed Loke's key and set it down carefully on the floor. He had to try. He would give up anything, even Lucy's love. Natsu pressed his lips into a tight thin line. He reached down, and picked up his small shoulder pack, and slipped it on. Might as well keep it. Never know if maybe something in it might help.

"I'm sorry, Erza, I gotta do this. I have to try, no matter what, I will always more than fish, both of you," Natsu said looking at Loke's key.

Natsu turned back to the gate, squared his shoulders, and marched through the now open, twisted, metal gate doors, with a fierce determination. He would rather get torn limb from limb, and be forced to survive eternity without arms by Loke than fail to save Lucy twice. Especially, twice in the same day. As soon as Natsu stepped into the glowing light beyond the gate doors, the world he had just exited shattered like glass, and vanished. There could be no turning back now.

The Gate did not warn him about what passing through would be like. Oh, how Natsu wished he had thought to ask that first. Even if he had been warned it wouldn't have changed it. There could be no preparation for this. It started as an itching. Itching every where all at once. Inside and out. So very itchy! He wished that had been the worst of it. The itch turned to a scratching. Then burning, aching. It felt like his skin was being peeled off layer by layer, then tacked back on inside out.

It finally, blessedly stopped. He breathed, shaking violently. But it wasn't over he was still being drawn through that strange limbo of light and color. Then there was a twinge deep inside his chest. He tried not to notice. Even as the twinge became worse, and began to ache. All at once it felt like something had physically grabbed his heart. Natsu cried out in pain. He gritted his teeth. Tears started to stream from his eyes, squeezed tight against what was happening.

Natsu screamed. He would swear that something was literally removing his still beating heart from his chest, and twisted it, forcefully wringing the blood from the vital organ. It was the single most excruciating experience of his life. Natsu shrieked. He lay on the ground in a ball, sobbing, gasping, nauseous. He wasn't going to give in. It was worth it. It was worth the chance to save Lucy. The chance to erase the damage he had done to everyone. His failure to protect Lucy, the scars he had given Happy, and Erza. All of it. This suffering was worth it all.

Natsu blacked out, the pain more than he could physically take any longer.

Then the dream began.

Natsu was sitting with Lucy at the top of the largest hill in the large park. It was a beautiful day. Natsu remembered this day. He smiled. Lucy was wearing a glorious soft pink dress that hugged her voluptuous body. The scarf hemmed skirt stopping mid calf, had long slits that ended high on the mid thigh, and allowed for her sleek legs to peek out as she moved. The bodice sported a deep V that offered a spectacular view of her cleavage.

Spaghetti straps braided up, and over her slender shoulders accented by off the shoulder sleeves that hugged her arms to the elbow. She was breathe taking. The delicate hue was so light that the gown looked just a few shades pinker than white. The color complimented her skin tone perfectly. Her golden hair swept up into a loose French Twist. The locks that were permitted to hang free, curled in little golden ringlets.

They had only just settled down on the grass. Talking and laughing about the movie that they were going to see later. Natsu had her all to himself for the entire day. She had left her keys at home. Happy was ordered to go fishing. Not that Happy had argued. The other members of the team were off on missions or out relaxing else where. They were going to have a picnic, and Natsu wanted to talk about a mission he'd seen earlier in the day. The paper was in the basket with the food.

All of the sudden it began to rain. Not a little rain. No the sky opened up, and began dumping a lake, no an ocean of water. Even though the sun was still shining brightly.

Lucy screeched loudly, "No! It's not supposed to rain, and shine at the same time! Hahaha Natsu, hurry run! My place, come on!"

She was running and laughing. Natsu started to follow. The basket, the paper. He turned back. He grabbed the basket, and opened it. He grabbed the paper, and moved it to were it wouldn't get wet if water got in. He closed the basket again, and turned to follow Lucy. He froze.

Natsu's heart sank like a rock as he saw Loke. Lucy ran down the path to the bottom of the hill, right to Loke's waiting arms. The Lion Spirit opened an umbrella. He slipped off his jacket, and draped it over Lucy's slender shoulders. Her hair was hanging loose, and clinging to her skin, much like that pale, now almost see through, soaking pink dress. She was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Natsu felt the tears sting his eyes as Loke stroked her cheek. Lucy didn't pull away. Even when Loke leaned forward, and kissed her. Lucy didn't pull away, no matter how much Natsu prayed that she would. After a moment Loke wrapped his arms around her. Lucy's arms slipped around the Lion Spirit's neck. Natsu turned away only after the umbrella dipped slowly to one side, and blocked his view of the kissing couple.

He walked home in the pouring rain, all alone. He didn't care how wet he got. At least no one could see his tears. He had lost her. He had just lost his Lucy, and all because of a basket, and a stupid piece of paper.

"That's not how it happened!" Natsu screamed as he sat up, "That's, that's not, it's not real, it's not the truth."

Originally, it wasn't what happened, but now. Now that was what Lucy would remember happened. Only Natsu would remember both ends of that choice. The price had just been paid. Natsu felt like his heart would never beat properly again. He sobbed into his hands for a long time. When he recovered, he took a deep breath.

"It's still worth it, as long as Lucy doesn't die. It will be worth it," Natsu said at long last. He had said he would give up anything. He meant _anything_. It was time to see if he could love Lucy enough to let her be happy, even in the arms of another man. The gate began talking to him. It was explaining a great many things that Natsu would need to understand, since Natsu would be around a number of immortal beings should he succeed.

"When you are ready, Natsu Dragneel. Step through to the other side of the gate, and take your chosen moment," He heard the Gate of Time intone at long last, "Do not forget my words to you before you entered, or this will all be for naught. I will leave you with a gift, Worthy One, you will know it when you see it."

Natsu nodded. He looked around as he climbed to his feet. The other side of the gate, it was just a few feet away.

"Don't turn away this time, don't turn away. Lucy needs a hero, even if it's not me," Natsu told himself out loud, "I can do this, I can save her, but not alone. I'm not alone. Am I, Kitten."

Natsu squared his shoulders once more. He had never felt so determined or so very broken in his life.

"I. Am. NOT. _ALONE_! _WE_ WILL SAVE LUCY! _TOGETHER_!" Natsu shouted.

Natsu stepped through the gate.


	10. In That One MomentAgain

_**{Author's Note:**_ Be for warned the following chapter contains: Violence, suggestive themes and ideas and some strong and rather ahem colorful language. Some form of happy ending(s) in this the **Final** **Chapter**. It is a LONG chapter. Rating probably T. As always PLEASE be sure to view "**Lucy**" by **xOxLxIxVxEx** as that is the work that inspired this story. A huge massive ginormous THANK YOU to **xOxLxIxVxEx** for giving me permission to post this. :) Don't forget to Review after you read thank you thank you thank you and hope you enjoy! _**End Note}**_

_**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail, if I did the Fairies would be ruling the world and whipping people with their totally awesome tails!**_

Chapter 10

In That One Moment...Again

Natsu grinned, that half crazed look in his eyes once more as he faced the mastermind they had come to stop. He was gonna enjoy beating this guy for kidnapping Lucy. He had planned to sacrifice her for her powers as a Stellar Spirit mage as part of some bizarre, ancient ritual to gain immortality. Natsu had managed to free Lucy. She was still fighting the second in command, while Gray and Erza were busy with the dozens of followers outside the temple.

They had given Natsu the opening to go save Lucy. Now that she had her keys, and her whip, his Nakama could take out one man. Natsu loved Lucy, but she was dating Loke, and had been for the last almost seven months now. It bugged him that Loke made his move while Lucy was on a date with Natsu. The jerk. He knew he was getting tired if he was thinking about that at a time like this. The master mountain mage was powerful, and Natsu was needing to use more of his magic than he had expected.

'Damn! No wonder this was an S class mission, but that fifty million jewels, and an all expenses paid cruise is soo gonna be worth it! Lucy and Erza in bikinis all day for a week!' Natsu shivered at the thought. There was a blinding flash of light, that the mage somehow didn't see. Natsu felted dazed. He blinked. Natsu swallowed hard.

"You can't stop me! I've won! I've won, and you have no idea that it's already too late! MWAHA ha ha ha ha!" The master mountain mage shouted at Natsu from across the massive room.

"What nonsense are you dreaming?! Just 'cause you finished your stupid chant ain't gonna save you from my fire! Besides, you forgot the sacrifice, you stupid, old fart!" Natsu heard himself shout. His eyes widen. It was almost time he realized. He swallow in anticipation. He could do this.

"There's still time, you fool! There's still time! So long as the sacrifice is in the temple, I have all the time I need! Soon! Soon, you shall tremble before me, you who is nothing but a mere mortal! I shall possess the immortality of the Stellar Spirits!" the old man crowed triumphantly.

He was trying to buy more time. He couldn't take much more from this fire flinging, half crazed, childish upstart. Fairy Tail had sent the one team that he and his master had needed them to, but they had not accounted for the dragon slayer actually still having so much power left when he reached the ceremonial rooms.

"Phht! Like I'd let you kill my friend just so your ugly, old wrinkles could creep along the Earth forever!" Natsu laughed, trying to blow off the disturbing idea that Lucy wasn't safe even though Natsu was right there.

He turned, and looked at her. He saw the real master mage fading in and out of view across from her, she looked shaky to him this time. She was faltering. She flashed him a relieved smile, and returned to her fight, looking around wildly. She had lost track of her opponent. Natsu _didn't_ turned back to his own opponent.

"_LUCY!_" Natsu shouted, he started running for all he was worth. The hall was lined with braziers that were burning fiercely. The gift. Natsu grinned, but it faded. He wouldn't make it. He was too far.

"_**Loke!**_" Natsu's summons coming out as a blood curdling shriek. Nothing. No, poof ,magic Lion Spirit slash dashing, daring prince come to rescue the radiant princess. Nothing at all.

His voice high pitched in terror, Natsu tried again, "Loke! I need you! Loke PLEASE, Lucy _needs_ you! _PLEASE_!"

Loke was there. Natsu was drawing the fire of each brazier as he passed. Loke grabbed the exhausted Lucy, and pulled her to safety as the dagger plunged into the air where she'd been standing a split second before.

"I'm all fired up and ready to rip you apart, you mother fucking son of a bitch!" Natsu shouted as he launched into the true master mage, "Don't you touch my Lucy ever again you bastard!"

Loke and Lucy were staring at Natsu like they had never seen him before. Lucy blushed. She had never ever heard Natsu talk like that. She didn't know he even knew words like that never mind what they meant. Either way she was thankful that the fire dragon slayer had come to help her. It was taking everything in her power just to keep that monster away from her.

Natsu was pounding the guys face in, each blow encased in the most intense flames she'd ever seen. Once the mage lay motionless, Natsu snatched up the dagger, and turned to face Lucy, who was still firmly in Loke's arms.

"We have to get her out of here now! She not safe as long as she's _within_ these walls. Don't ask questions just move! NOW!" Natsu snapped. His face twisted in fear, relief, pain, anger, and determination. His throat hurt from the way he had screeched to try to reach Loke in the Spirit World.

Loke was moving. He carried Lucy. She didn't complain, which made Loke worry. They ran from the ceremonial room, raced down the winding stone stairs to the next floor. Natsu was looking for an exit. Any exit. He didn't care where it went as long as it was outside. They raced down the next staircase. He kept a solid grip on the dagger. As long as he held it, it couldn't be used to hurt his Lucy. He stopped Loke suddenly. There. Was that...? Yes! A window low enough and wide enough to get through.

"This way, hurry. Lucy, take the dagger. You have to get your magic back. Hold it in both hands, and say...and say...Shit! What were the words! Think Natsu!" Natsu struggled to remember as they hurried down the long hall.

"What the hell is going on Natsu?" Loke asked.

"I'll explain later, Kitten, I promise," Natsu replied.

"What did you just call me?!" Loke snarled.

"I. Will. Explain. LATER! We do not have time! You will help me save Lucy's life, or I will kill you! Release Thy Stolen Strength! That's what you need to say Luce!" Natsu finally remembered, he passed her the dagger as they reached the window.

Lucy didn't want to touch that thing. She could still feel the mage sliding the thing over her skin as he chanted in some ancient dead language. She shivered violently but took firm hold of the handle with both hands. She cringed.

"R-release thy s-stolen s-strength," she stuttered, trying not to throw up at the feel of the grip in her hand. The dagger flared. Vivid warm light flooded out swirling in the air, and curled around her slender body. Lucy gasped as her magic was blissfully restored. She smiled at Natsu with tears in her eyes.

Natsu grinned brightly as he took the dagger from her hands.

"Go! Now! Out the window. Loke don't you _dare_ leave her side for even the briefest second. Lucy if you can, call another Spirit, like Taurus, or Cancer. A fighter. I don't want anyone getting near you until this is finished," Natsu ordered as he helped Loke, and then Lucy out the window. They passed Lucy between them.

"O-okay, I will," Lucy managed. There was something very, very, _very_ different about Natsu. She didn't know what.

Natsu watched as Loke stood behind Lucy, holding her so that he was ready to pull her away from anything that threatened, while she called forth Cancer, and then Taurus. Natsu grinned as the three Spirits rushed Lucy off across the roof. They passed her down to each other moving down the outside of the building to reach the ground. Relief that she was safe at last, flooded Natsu. It was worth it after all. Tears fell freely from his eyes. He let himself cry. His tears fell onto the dagger he held in his hands.

"It was worth it. Thank you for everything. Thank you," Natsu said, and he snapped the dagger in two, shearing the blade off the hilt. It flashed dully as it broke. A moment later the dagger shattered into thousands of tiny pieces as fine as any dust.

Natsu would swear he heard the Gate of Time say, "You are welcome, Worthy One. Congratulations."

It took another hour to capture all of the mountain mages. Once they were all in custody, Fairy Tail's strongest team stood outside the temple huddled together. Loke refused to release Lucy. Something about Natsu's reaction scared him on a level that he felt he would never recover from. He had good reason to fear that something horrible was just waiting at this place. It was an ancient Stellar Temple, and Lucy was a Stellar Spirit mage, and this was the night of the Spring Equinox. A powerful yearly event that held great significance for Elementals, and Spirits. Lucy dismissed Taurus and Cancer, each of them demanding a hug before they left, Taurus without his usual perverseness for once. Lucy obliged. They were also disturbed by the timing, and the location. It was too many coincidences.

"Hey, Luce?" Natsu asked softly.

"Yeah, Natsu?" Lucy looked at him, he was hidden in the deep shadows of the night.

"Are you up to calling one more Spirit?" Natsu questioned gently.

"I-I think so, why?" Lucy said.

"Are you or not?" Natsu growled slightly.

"I don't know for sure, but I can try," Lucy huffed back. He was being so damn weird.

"I'm not gonna risk your health, Luce. You're too precious to me, to all of us. Can I see Virgo's key for a minute?" Natsu spoke gently as he walked up to her.

"Uh...okay, I guess," Lucy said pulling Virgo's key from her keyring, "Are you gonna tell me what this is all about?"

"Later, I promise. After we get back to the guild I'll explain everything, and I'll answer all the questions you have that I can answer safely," Natsu replied quietly, taking the key from her. He looked at it for a moment then handed it back to her.

"Try again, Luce. This is Aries, not Virgo. You're exhausted if you made that mistake," Natsu chided softly, with a smile.

"Oh! Sorry," Lucy took the key back blushing. It was dark ,and she was tired, but she felt bad about the mistake. She had the right one this time. She handed him the key without a word. Natsu glanced at it, nodded and turned away. He walked several dozen feet back towards the building without a word. Natsu raised the key over his head, and brought it down to in front of himself slowly, smoothly breathing, and focusing his magic as he did so. Just as Loke had taught him. He took his time. He still needed more practice.

"Gate of the Maiden! I command thee to open! Virgo!" Natsu shouted firmly. Every jaw dropped open, but their eyes just about popped out of their heads, when Virgo actually appeared in front of Natsu.

"Virgo, you're looking well, do me a favor. Please turn this building to rubble that's no bigger than my fist," Natsu spoke smoothly as though conversing about the weather with a long time friend.

"As you wish, Master," Virgo replied.

"I'm not your master, Virgo, I'm just summoning you for Lucy, but thank you, just the same," Natsu corrected her gently.

Virgo nodded, and smiled pleasantly without answering. It took her no more than fifteen minutes to fulfill the request. Natsu thanked her again, and dismissed her. He walked back to the still stunned group, and handed Lucy back her key.

"H-h-h-how?!" Lucy stammered in utter disbelief.

"Later, Luce, I'll explain _everything_ later. I promise," Natsu leaned forward, and kissed her forehead lightly, "Right now, let's just finish this damn mission, and get the hell out of this fucking nightmare. I don't ever want to see this place again for as long as I live."

They couldn't agree more. Natsu was undeniably different. It frightened them.

When the sun rose the next morning they all had even more questions for the dragon slayer, but Natsu wouldn't answer them. They gave up trying to pry anything out of him. He had scars on his face, arms, and chest that hadn't been there before he went into the temple. His attitude was vastly different. So was his speech. And since when had Natsu Dragoneel learned how to summon Stellar Spirits, never mind a Zodiac Stellar Spirit?!

The train ride back to Magnolia was a long, silent three day trip. Loke sat cuddling Lucy. He still didn't want to let go of her. It was as if he was afraid that if he released her she would simply disappear into thin air. Natsu completely ignore him. He watched Lucy. His gaze steady, and undaunted even when he was told to stop staring at her by Loke. When Lucy told him, he would look away. At these times Erza became the object of his focus. Happy laid in Natsu's lap, muttering about fish in his sleep. Natsu smiled. He was going to buy Happy more fish than the little blue feline could eat in one sitting just as soon as they got home. Natsu didn't begin getting motion sick until half way through the second day of the ride. Oh, but when he finally got sick, it was the worst any of them had ever seen him. Erza knocked him unconscious for the remainder of the journey.

Natsu did buy Happy more fish than the cat could eat in one sitting, or even three sittings for that matter, just as soon as he recovered when they finally reached Magnolia. Happy was beside himself, he was so overjoyed. Natsu carried the load of fish into the guild hall. Without hesitating Natsu marched to the bar, and picked up Makarov, before continuing on to the stairs. The other members of his team following, quickly.

"We need to talk, right now, old man," Natsu said in way of both greeting, and explanation.

"Apparently this is something that you feel can neither wait, nor be discussed in public," Makarov observed stoically, as he remained in the same position he had been sitting in, even as he dangled from Natsu's hand, swinging slightly as the dragon slayer marched along.

"How ever did you guess?" Natsu replied drolly. He set Makarov on his desk after entering the old man's office. He dropped the large bag of fish, and Happy on the floor beside a chair. Natsu flipped over the chair he was claiming for himself, and then moved all the other seats to the opposite side of the room.

"Come in, and park it, and not in the one that's upside down either, Gray. I don't feel like having a stupid, pointless fight with you over something so damn ridiculous," Natsu ordered flatly. Gray stared at the pink headed fire mage as if he had never seen him before as he passed him.

"You eat some spoiled charcoal starter or somethin' Flamebrain?" Gray asked as he found a seat. Natsu didn't respond.

After they had all finished shuffling through the door Natsu closed, and lock it firmly. He moved to the window, and closed the shutters, and the curtains. When he was satisfied, he righted his chair, and seated himself.

"Natsu, what happened to give you so many strange wounds? And how have they healed so quickly?" Makarov asked.

"What I am about to tell you is the absolute truth, and you must never speak of any of it with anyone, not even each other. You must never, ever, ever, write it, or in any way, shape, or form pass this information along to any other living being. It does not leave this room. Ever. Do you all understand?" Natsu began. He looked at each person in turn to see them nod their understanding, before he continued.

"Happy, I swear, if you breathe a word of this to anyone else, I will never buy you another fish again. It's _that_ important that you keep this a complete, and total secret, okay?" Natsu said looking at the cat.

Happy had gasped in horror at Natsu's words, his eyes were twice their normal size, "Aye! Okay! I promise not to say anything about anything you say in here, Natsu! It's super secret if it's more important than _Fish_!" Happy announced.

Natsu grinned at the cat. He sighed heavily, and rubbed his face with his hands. After a long pause he placed his elbows on his knees laced his fingers together, and rested his bone weary body as best he could. Finally he began quietly, "I am not the same Natsu that you went on the mission with. That Natsu no longer exists, because I replaced him. He was me in the past. I am the future self of that Natsu. I came back through the Gate of Time, in order to change one decision. I am one full y-"

"How in the _hell_ do you know about _that_?!" Loke hissed, sitting forward so suddenly that he startled everyone but Natsu, who looked at him without flinching.

"I found it, by accident. Now shut up, and let me tell my story," Natsu answered. Loke was staring at Natsu like he had three heads.

"Prove it!" Loke snapped.

Natsu held Loke's gaze, "No. You are an immortal. You are not bound by the laws of time. You prove it for yourself. You can learn for yourself what mortals can not remember, because it has been rewritten for every mortal, both including and excluding me. You know I'm telling the truth already, Loke. I can see it in your eyes, even through those stupid sunglasses."

"Holy shit, Natsu," Loke whispered, his eye wider than his sunglasses, "What the hell was so important that you would do that? What did you give up? L-Let me see?" Loke began to reach towards Natsu as he rose from his seat.

"I'm warning you Loke, this is not going to be easy for you. You might not want this knowledge, and once you have it, you can't just put it back. It will haunt you, just like it will forever haunt me," Natsu offered sadly. Loke froze.

"If you can handle it, then so can I," Loke answered, sounding more confident than he felt, but didn't advance towards Natsu any farther.

Natsu snorted, "Don't be too sure about that, Kitten. My secrets took me to the edge of insanity, and beyond, and back again. You sure you want this? This knowledge that I've battled with for a year solid, the truth that took me literally into the deepest pits of hell, and taught me the true meaning of fear, hatred, pain, and left me with soul deep _agony_? You really sure that you want this? You really think that you can handle what's locked in my head, without even having the slightest clue what nightmares are still playing before my eyes?"

Loke swallowed hard, staring at Natsu in horror. What could be so devastating to do that to the fire dragon slayer? Loke was afraid to find out, he backed away from Natsu, and pulled Lucy back into his arms as he returned to his seat on the small couch beside her. All eyes were shifting between the pair but finally settled back on Natsu.

"I didn't think so," Natsu stated, "As I was saying, I am a full year older than what I was when I entered the temple. This is the second time that I completed this mission. The first not everyone made it back alive. That is still something that I haven't figured out how to forgive myself for, and I don't know that I ever will." Natsu paused for a moment, his emotions threatening to choke him. He didn't fight the tears, as he stared at his tightly laced fingers. He breathed heavily, letting the water flow from his eyes.

Lucy's hands had fluttered to cover her mouth as she shook her head 'no' at what Natsu was telling them, "W-who? It wasn't you because you're here, but, but who?" She looked to each of her friends in turn. She couldn't imagine losing Gray, Erza or Happy either. It couldn't be Loke. It was hurting her heart just to think of it being possible. Tears stung her eyes at the fear that was quickly taking over her.

"Aye! Who didn't come home, N-Natsu?" Happy asked, on the verge of tears himself. There was a long heavy silence as Natsu tried to make his voice work again.

"L-Lucy," Natsu choked, finally. Everyone but Lucy gasped. Silence blanketed the room only broken by soft sobs. Natsu was shaking from the force of his tears. No one rushed him to continue. No one asked any other questions. Lucy pried herself out of Loke's arms by force. She moved gently to Natsu. She unfolded his hands, and slipped into his arms to hug him. He instantly wrapped her in an embrace that she wasn't sure she would survive but she didn't struggle.

Oh, how he had longed for this. To hold her in his arms. To know that she was safe. For the last year all he had desired was for her to some how be alive again. He cried until he couldn't breathe, and then he cried until he could. Lucy whispered to him as she was racked by his sobbing. She reassured her closest friend that she was alright. That she would not leave him. He had saved her when she had needed him the most. She was alive. She was safe. Natsu nodded but that didn't make the river end, or even slow. He had spent the last year mourning her. That wasn't going away in a mere three or four days. They let the dragon slayer cry himself out. It gave them all the time to adjust to just how dire what else he might reveal could be.

Natsu finally released Lucy, when he could talk again. The feel of her in his arms was doing things to him. Things he didn't want her to know about. Things that would undoubtedly upset her boyfriend. He waved her back to her seat. He swallowed hard as he wiped at his face with the cloth that Makarov offered.

"Are you sure you're up to talking about this right now, Natsu?" Makarov asked gently, deep concern shining in his eyes. Of all of the scars he could see on the pink headed mage, the twin scars on Natsu's forearms disturbed Makarov the most. Those were enough to prove the truth of Natsu's words. Scars like that took weeks just to be healed enough for stitches to be removed. The level of healing of Natsu's scars suggested at least six months.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I've learned how to keep breathing. I can talk about it. I've had time to learn how to face it. It's been a _really_ long year for me, old man," Natsu replied. His voice was still thick from how hard he had cried.

"Okay, Natsu. It can't get worse than that, right?" Loke asked hopefully.

"Depends on who you are, Kitten. For you, maybe. I'm not real sure," Natsu answered truthfully.

"I died, and so Lucy died because I wasn't there to get her out, right?" Loke asked.

"No, Kitten. You didn't die. You didn't even fight. You weren't there at all until after it was already too late. You didn't know anything was wrong, and Luce couldn't call you because her magic had been stolen. You got there just in time to watch her die in my arms. You took it pretty damn hard, Kitte-er Loke. Sorry that's a force of habit. I'll try to use your name. It's hard though," Natsu watched Loke as he spoke. Loke slowly turned white, and then green. His face crumpled, and he buried his head in Lucy's shoulder just as Natsu had, and cried.

"I know this is a lot to take in. Believe me, living it was a million times worse. Exponentially worse. I learned some damn hard lessons. Lessons I won't ever forget. I got through this last year only because of the people in this room. Loke. Erza. Gray. You three kept me from killing myself. You three and Happy, you taught me how deep love can go to heal a wound that runs right through the center of your soul. You guys held me, and you held me together. Loke, you brought me back from my insanity.

That's what the scars on my face are from. You gave me these scars. I wouldn't get rid of these scars without something truly worth loosing them over. It was a lesson I needed taught, and you are the only one that could have taught it to me. Gray, you saved me from myself once. You saved Happy from me too. Erza you saved me from myself, at a high cost. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you four. I love every last one of you, more than Happy loves fish," Natsu told them, hoping he could give them the strength to face the rest of what he had to tell them.

"Aye! More than fish! That's a lot of love, Natsu! I love you more than fish, too!" Happy shouted, suddenly excited.

"I know Happy, I know you do, you've told me, you just don't know it. You showed me too. You proved it," Natsu replied grinning at Happy. Everyone agreed that was a lot of love, especially for Happy.

Loke pulled away from Lucy, stood up and looked at Natsu.

"I have to know, Natsu. I have to know," Loke told him.

Natsu gave Loke a steady look, then nodding said, "Okay, Kitten. If you're sure, then I'm ready when you are."

"Don't be to sure about that, Dragon," Loke smirked, "You don't know what I have to do to get the knowledge back from you."

Natsu grinned, then laughed, "I doubt it's anything that hasn't happened to me, or you before, but I'm sure there are things that I don't know about."

Loke raised an eyebrow at Natsu for a moment, but Natsu didn't elaborate further. Loke removed his sunglasses, and dropped them on his seat.

"The rest of you might not want to watch this. Just don't think less of either of us. I don't make the rules, I just have to follow them," Loke stood in front of Natsu, then without warning leaned down, grabbed Natsu's chin, and kissed him. Just like – BAM – Lip Lock! Everyone else gasped. Natsu inhaled sharply, closed his eyes, and surprised the crap out the Lion, when he threw his arms around Loke's neck, and returned that kiss without a second's hesitation. After a moment Natsu was on his feet. Hands in the hair, can't hold you close enough, TONGUE action.

Loke sobbed, without breaking the kiss. The knowledge that was passing between them was heart wrenching. Once all of the memories where fully restored he stopped crying. It was a few minutes longer before they separated. Gray was not sure if his stomach could handle watching, and had looked away when Natsu had wrapped his arms around Loke. Judging by Lucy's shocked and fairly horrified reaction at seeing her boyfriend kissing not only another person but a man she had known for so long, Gray was convinced he didn't want to see any part of whatever was going on. Loke stared at Natsu with a profoundly sad smile.

Natsu grabbed Loke's jacket front, and pulled him close, in order to whisper, "Don't you _ever_ tell her the price I paid. You will let me love her enough, to let her be happy, even if it's with _you_, instead of _me_."

Natsu pulled away releasing Loke's jacket. Loke stared at him. The tears were brimming in his eyes. Loke nodded finally.

"I'm, I'm so, so sorry, Puff," Loke choked.

"It was worth it, Kitten. I didn't give up anything that I hadn't already lost. Either way, it was worth it," Natsu replied. Natsu took his seat once more. Loke went back to his own spot. Lucy picked up his sunglasses only just in time. Loke buried his face in his hands, and sobbed broken heartedly.

"I _told_ you it was bad," Natsu teased with a knowing, but sad grin.

Loke nodded, but he didn't regret having the knowledge, because it made everything now seem so much more important and special than it had been just a few moments before. Natsu and Loke explained everything that had happened in the course of the past year. Taking turns while the other cried. It was devastating for everyone in the room. They softened the blows where they could. They left out things that the others hadn't known in the other time line.

Lucy was horrified at what her friends had suffered, all because she had been unable to protect herself. She listened quietly not looking at anyone. She couldn't comfort everyone all at once, there just wasn't enough of her for that. Natsu and Loke took turns sitting beside her on the couch. She was truly surprised that Loke didn't have a fit when Natsu dragged her into his lap as he cried at one point. What ever had happened in that 'kiss of knowledge', it had changed the Dragon Slayer's and Lion's relationship, maybe for the better.

Gray laughed as Natsu and Loke explained their pet names for each other. Everyone else glared at him.

"What?! It's funny! I wish I'd thought of calling him Puff," Gray grumbled.

"No, point, snowflake. I don't understand the reference. I ain't offend by it. Though, Kitten didn't like his nick name too much," Natsu told Gray breezily.

"It's, It's a really sad story, Natsu. It's about this little boy, and his dragon. They're best friends and go everywhere together and do everything together. Then one day, the little boy grows up, and leaves the dragon behind. The dragon is so sad, so heartbroken that he looses his roar, and his scales and just sort of falls apart, he goes off alone into his cave, and he never comes back out," Lucy explained slowly, quietly, "It's such a sad story, but it's a really good sad story. I used to always cry at the end. There is even a song about Puff the Magic Dragon."

"I think it's actually a very fitting name, considering what you suffered through, Natsu," Makarov offered thoughtfully, "You and Lucy have been side by side much like the two main characters of that story, from the day you dragged her into Fairy Tail. If for some reason, Lucy was suddenly no longer at your side, I imagine you would loose your roar, scales, and will to fight, slink off into a dark hole somewhere, and just not come back. Very much like Puff the Magic Dragon, however, it sounds like that would be a suitable description of Loke as well. Kitten may have been a far more fitting title for you than you realized, Loke."

They all thought about it for a long time, Loke finally nodded in understanding. He wasn't a dragon like Natsu or Puff. A Lion that lost it's roar, it's claws and teeth, it's will to fight, was not much more than an over grown kitten. Without knowing it, Natsu had given Loke the same nick name, he'd just translated it into terms that fit the Lion Spirit. Loke suddenly was no longer offended by the title. Natsu could really be a deeply intelligent man when he bothered to be.

It was almost dark out when they finally left Makarov's office. Loke scooped up Lucy, and marched out of the guild. He carried her home, and spent the rest of the night putting the memories of the year that never happened behind him. It was an intensely passionate night for them. Or at least after Lucy was satisfied that Loke had scrubbed his mouth clean enough. She was more than a little disturbed by that kiss Loke had shared with Natsu.

The others went down stairs. Natsu was still somber, but he seemed like a weight had finally fallen off. She was alive. She was happy. And one day she would be written into the stars, and spend forever with Loke. It was enough. He grinned brightly, almost completely hiding the sorrow in his eyes that still haunted him in the dark corners of his mind.

Natsu caught up with Gray. He clapped a firm hand on Gray's shoulder, and leaned over to talk almost in the other man's ear, as he turned Gray to face a different direction.

"See Juvia over there?" Natsu asked.

Gray blinked, and looked at the water mage, "Uh, yeah, what about her?"

"I dare you to take her to dinner and a movie, right now," Natsu said grinning.

"What?! No way!" Gray snapped.

"What's wrong? You afraid?" Natsu taunted.

"Course not! I just don't want to," Gray shot back glaring at his pink headed Nakama.

"You coward. Too bad, poor girl totally digs you, too," Natsu retorted, with a sniff.

"Sh-she does?" Gray asked surprised.

"And people think that I'm dense?! Wow, you're so lame, you coward. I dare you. I know you're gonna chicken out, _Looser_. Dinner and a movie, before midnight, with Juvia. Just the two of you, alone. You fail; you have to wear a full chicken costume for a week straight, and cluck every time someone says your name," Natsu challenged. An almost evil gleam twinkled in his bright eyes as he stared, grinning at Gray.

"Your on, droopy eyes!" Gray accepted. There was no way he was gonna let Natsu win now. Chicken costumes and clucking?! Gray Fullbuster was not a coward. He could take one girl out to dinner and a movie. He marched over to Juvia determined to beat the dragon slayer at all costs.

"Hey, Juvia. Can I ask you something?" Gray interrupted the conversation she was having with Mirajane.

"Oh! Y-yes, of course! What questions does Gray-sama have for Juvia?" Juvia asked, blushing as she faced her super massive crush.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me right now? We could catch a movie afterwards, too. Just the two of us, alone," Gray spoke with a cool confidence. His honor was on the line. He knew Natsu was watching.

Juvia squealed and jumped up and down as she answered excitedly, "Yes! Yes! Juvia would love to accompany Gray-sama on a date!"

'Date?! Who said anything about a da...Natsu! You just totally set me up! I'm so gonna kill him tomorrow!' Gray thought, turning red from head to toe in both anger and embarrassment.

Mira beamed brightly at them, "Oh how lovely! Have fun!"

"Greeeeaaaaatt," Gray intoned. He couldn't back out now. With a heavy sigh he walked arm in arm with the excited Juvia, out of the guild hall. Natsu's laughter fallowed them out of the double doors.

"Hook, line and sinker! You'll thank me someday Gray," Natsu laughed as he turned to the bar.

Mira was grinning just as bright as the sun.

"Did you do that, Natsu?"

"Sure the hell did. I dared him to take her to dinner and a movie right now, or wear a chicken costume for a week and cluck every time someone said his name. Gray just walked right into it too," Natsu told her grinning.

"Oh that's so underhanded, Natsu! I _love_ it!" Mira gushed.

"A real man does not stoop to trickery!" Elfman said, staring at Natsu.

"A real man doesn't need tricked into asking out a woman, that he's got a crush on," Natsu replied, "because a real man, is man enough to be honest with her, even at the risk of being turned down."

Elfman's jaw dropped open. He couldn't agree more, but that Natsu had been the one to say it, shocked him into speechlessness.

Everyone that heard Natsu turned to stare at him, like they had never seen him before. Natsu picked up the mug of beer in front of him, and drained it in one pull. He set it down, and picked up another. He sniffed trying to blatantly ignore the stares, then drained that mug too.

"Thanks, Mira. I really needed a good drink," Natsu told her, then turned, and looked around. Erza was walking towards the double doors that led outside.

"When did he start drinking like _that_?" Natsu heard Cana ask Mira, but he ignored her.

"Hold it right there, Erza. I'm not done with you just yet," Natsu ordered. Mira's eyes widened, and her eyebrows shot up in surprise. The rumors were right, Natsu was behaving very strangely.

Erza stopped, and turned back. Natsu marched straight up to her, and stared down into her eyes for a moment.

"What do you want, Natsu?" Erza demanded, returning his gaze as best she could without blushing in the face of her secret crush.

"You. I want you. You are so damn beautiful it hurts," Natsu murmured to her, cupping her face in his hand as he spoke. Then without another word, he seized her by the waist, and pulled her into a firm kiss. Erza gasped in shock, and Natsu pressed the advantage, flooding her mouth with both his demanding tongue, and his fire magic to literally turn up the heat.

Erza blushed and struggled for a moment. With a soft moan, and a deep sigh, she gave into him. The on lookers began to cheer. The cat calls, hooting, and shouting reached fever pitch, when Natsu swept Erza up in his arms, and carried her back through the guild to her room in the dormitory. This time, Natsu saw Erza, and only Erza when he made love to her. They didn't wait to announce their relationship, but everyone already knew by morning anyway.

Mira decided that she liked the strange way Natsu was behaving. She didn't like the scars very much, or that no one would tell her everything that happened on the last mission. Over all, they were _all_ back and safe, and much closer to each other in more ways than one. Wasn't that all that really mattered?

The next morning, Gray and Juvia came into the guild together, hand in hand blushing brightly. The strongest team was gathered at their usual table. Juvia remained with them, and Gray kept his arm firmly around his new girlfriend. Juvia couldn't stop smiling, she couldn't believe she had finally won his heart. Gray wouldn't say anything to Natsu about setting him up. He didn't want to have to thank Natsu for doing it.

Natsu grinned knowingly at the new pair, "I see you figured out the rest on your own."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Gray shot back.

"Nothing. You two look good together. _I know_ that you two will be very happy together, for a long, long time," Natsu replied pointedly.

Gray's eyes went wide in understanding. By the time Natsu and Loke had finished telling them all about what would never happen now, Gray had forgotten that according to Natsu, Gray and Juvia had been dating, had been very much in love. Gray smiled at Natsu like he did at any of his true good friends. For all their fighting, even with all the ugly things that they said, they really did want to see each other happy. Natsu was trying to keep the good, and erase the bad. He was on a pretty good roll too.

"Thanks, Natsu. It, that really means a lot, man," Gray said honestly. It was a very rare moment. No one at the table missed it.

They spent the next two hours planning for the week long cruise. Happy was excited to spend so much time fishing. Natsu was going to talk to Wendy about if she could cure his motion sickness for a week. They laid out their plans. This was gonna be great. The first time they had completed the mission none of them had gone on the cruise. This time, they were all going together.

After lunch they talked about when they might take another mission, but decided to let that wait until they got back from a much needed week long, all expenses paid vacation.

It didn't take long before, Gray was smarting off about Natsu not being as good as him, because fire was lame.

"I caught most of those mages myself. Ice prison, is way better than just spitting fire every where," Gray told the nodding, smiling, still blushing Juvia.

"Okay, that's enough out of you, Blizzard Boy! I can so melt your ice any day, you sorry snowflake!" Natsu shouted at Gray heatedly.

"Oh yeah?! You want a piece of me, Ash-hole?!" Gray shouted.

"Let's go, Glacier Geek!" Natsu yelled.

Within a few minutes they were at each other like old times. Loke cried into Lucy's shoulder, overjoyed by it.

"Loke?" Lucy asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's okay. Everything is okay now, Princess. This is the first time he's gotten in a fight with Gray in over a year. He's getting back to normal. It's- I'm just so happy to see him like this again. It's, it's beautiful," Loke whispered to her, so that no one else would hear him.

Lucy nodded in understanding. Erza stood up about to go end it but both Lucy and Loke stopped her.

"Erza, please just this once, let them fight. Natsu needs this. Just trust me. Enjoy it. It's special," Loke pleaded with her.

"Oh, um, okay, I guess. But just this once," She replied, after seeing the look in Loke's eyes.

They watched the grinning, happy Natsu as he finally learned how to live again, even though he had lost _his_ Lucy.

Natsu never stopped believing that the price was completely worth it.


End file.
